Returning Home
by 101Hope101
Summary: After being away at war, Lucas Scott returns home to his family. How will he adjust back into family life after living away and missing out on two years of his child's life?
1. Chapter 1

'Isabel for christ sake.' Peyton shouted. 'Look at you, what have you done?' The curly haired child looked down at her mud coated dress and her dirt covered hands. 'Well?' Peyton questioned again, glancing at the muddy footprints on the cream carpet. 'Can't you just do as your told for once?' She groaned in exasperation.

A loud thump in the living room doorway startled them both. Peyton's eyes jolted to the door. She protectively grabbed the four year old, lifting her into her arms, no longer bothered about her child's mucky form. Peyton swallowed thickly as she looked at the heavy kaki rucksack. Her eyes slowly moved to the pair of black military boots standing beside the luggage and she apprehensively eyed up the rest of the figure until she finally met his eyes. She swiftly let Isabel down and stared at him unsurely before a large smile graced her lips and she lurched herself into his stiff arms, hugging him fiercely.

His strong hands slowly moved to her back, pulling her tight against him. His stubbly chin grazed against the soft skin of her cheek as he heavily inhaled the scent of her hair. She gripped the camouflage material of his jacket, in an attempt to steady her sudden wobbly legs. He held her firmly as he felt her shake in his grasp and slowly lifted his hand to touch her lips. She smiled, that smile that she only had for him.

'It's really you' She whispered, her fingers tracing the outline of his face. Her smile faltered as she stared into his disconnected, serious, blue eyes. But before she could comprehend his stern features he was kissing her intensely.

Isabel stared at her dad confusedly, she recognised him from all the photos and videos her mother showed her constantly. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she watched him kiss her mother. .

Peyton eventually pulled away due to lack of oxygen She followed his gaze to the little girl standing behind them. 'Izzy' She breathed, abruptly walking away from him and kneeling down before the child. 'Baby' she held her hand out to her but she defiantly pulled away. Peyton grasped her hand and lifted her up, taking her over to Lucas. 'Give Daddy a hug'

Lucas watched his child, she'd changed so much and she certainly couldn't remember him at all. She clung to Peyton shyly, laying her head on her mother's shoulder.

'Don't be silly Izzy, give daddy a hug-'

'It's alright' Lucas shook his head not wanting to force her to do anything she didn't want to. 'Hi Isabel' He gently stroked the child's blonde curls away from her face so he could look at her properly. Her blue eyes stared widely back at him. 'She's changed so much' He glanced up at Peyton, 'She looks just like you'.

He kissed Isabel's forehead. 'Have you been making mud pies?' He asked, brushing away a bit of dried mud on her cheek and eying the brown marks on the carpet and her dirty attire. She lifted her head, a slight smile on her perfect lips.

'I made lotsa mud pies' her eyes widened, excitedly. Lucas smiled. Her grin suddenly vanished. 'Mummy's angry with me'.

Peyton put her down. 'Yes I need to get you cleaned up' she glanced at Lucas nervously. 'I won't be long and then I'll get you something to eat' She awkwardly guided the youngster out of the room.

Lucas swallowed, looking around the room. It hadn't changed much in the two years he'd been away, which was very unlike Peyton; In the eight years he'd been with her she'd decorated at least twice a year. He wandered further into the room, the only apparent change was the additional photos of Peyton and Isabel. He studied the photos of his daughter; memories he'd missed: Birthday parties, days at the park, pictures of her with her cousin James, pictures of her with Brooke and Haley and Nathan. He picked up one of Peyton holding Isabel- both of them soaking wet, laying in the grass, laughing hysterically.

'It was James's birthday, We all had a huge water fight' Peyton's voice sounded from behind him. He spun around, startled by her voice. 'Sorry I didn't mean to make you jump.'

Lucas placed the frame back on the mantle piece. 'Where's Isabel'.

'She'll be down in a minute- she's tidying her toys up….Are you hungry?'

'Er….I can get myself something it's-'

'Don't be stupid' She shook her head and went into the kitchen. Lucas hesitantly followed. 'Why didn't you call I would have made something nice' Peyton shot him a smile as she opened the cupboard and searched for something edible. Lucas walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. She smiled, falling back into his chest as he placed a delicate kiss on her shoulder.

'I thought I'd surprise you…I missed you so much' she turned around in his embrace, smiling shyly. 'Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?' She stared into his serious eyes.

'Not recently' She leant forward kissing him but their moment was soon interrupted when an energetic Isabel came bounding into the kitchen, juggling four bottles of paints. Peyton immediately withdrew, peering over Lucas' shoulder to their daughter. 'Isabel no painting now, it's nearly bed time' Peyton sighed.

'It's early, I'm not going bed'

'Yes you are madam, you've got ten minutes' Peyton said dismissively.

She pouted, attempting to cross her arms angrily but instead just wrapping her them around her small body.

Lucas smiled at her comical expression. 'I'm going to take a quick shower' He announced awkwardly, exiting the room.

'Mummy why has Daddy come home'

'Because he's not needed at the minute' .

'Is he living with us now?' She asked curiously, standing on her tip toes and reaching up onto the side board for a chocolate biscuit.

'Yes- Izzie this is Daddy's home too' Peyton took the biscuit away from her. 'It's to late for chocolate'

Peyton took her hand leading her upstairs.

'Will he play with me?'

'If you're a good little girl' Peyton smiled, guiding her into the bathroom and pulling out a small stool for her to stand on to brush her teeth.

'Does…Do-es---D--Dad-a--re--mem--ber--me?' Isabel queried while chewing on her toothbrush and spitting every few seconds. Peyton sighed, taking the brush from her small hands and doing it for her.

'Of course he remembers you, you're his baby girl. He used to read you a story every night'

The little girl scrunched up her nose and spat into the sink, jumping off the stool and racing into her bedroom. Peyton turned the tap off and followed her. 'Into bed' She instructed, stopping Isabel from emptying a box of lego over the floor.

'I wana play'

'Nope, not tonight it's late'

'Is not- it's….half past one' She frowned, looking at the wall clock confusedly.

'Five past seven'

'That's early- my bedtimes eight o'clock' She stomped her foot.

'Isabel please don't make a fuss. Daddy's been away a long time and I want to spend some time with him'

'I wana spend time too' She pouted.

'And you can, tomorrow'

'Can't he read me a story?' She huffed, reluctantly letting Peyton lift her into bed.

'Not tonight Izzie, he's tired. Tomorrow night ok?'

'Ok' She mumbled crossly.

'Night night' Peyton kissed her cheek. 'I love you'

'Love you' She responded sleepily, smiling as her mother rubbed her nose against hers.

'Now sleep' Peyton smiled.

---

'Something smells good'

'I'm afraid it's nothing impressive, just pasta, I haven't got much food.'

'Believe me that sounds great'. He watched her return her attention back to the saucepans. 'Did she go to bed alright?' He hesitantly broke the awkward silence that bestowed them.

'Yeah after a little persuasion' Peyton nodded.

'I…I can't get over how,…how big she's gotten' His voice broke. Peyton looked at him sadly, concern evident in her green eyes. She approached him unsurely, she'd never seen him look so lost and broken. She gently sat him down and sat herself on his lap, engulfing his muscular body in a hug.

'You're back now, we can be a family again everything will be fine' She kissed his forehead repeatedly, rocking him slightly. 'Everything's going to be ok Luke, everything's ok'.


	2. Chapter 2

'You're back now, we can be a family again everything will be fine' She kissed his forehead repeatedly, rocking him slightly. 'Everything's going to be ok Luke, everything's ok'. He lent his head against her chest, allowing her to soothe him for a few more minutes.

'I'm sorry'

'Don't apologise' She ran her fingers over his bristly chin. He shook her hand away, abruptly pushing against her small frame. He suddenly felt vulnerable in her arms, he needed her to get away from him. He couldn't allow her to break through the wall he'd put up over his couple of years away. Lucas suddenly pushed her away a little more violently than expected causing her to fall from his lap and land on the floor with a loud thump. She gasped, her eyes wide as she stared up at him a little taken aback by his harsh movement. 'I'm sorry' He quickly got to his feet, she shuffled backward, looking up at him warily. 'I'm sorry' She hastily pushed herself off the floor, refusing the hand held out to her. She avoided his eyes, turning away from his remorseful stare. 'Peyton I'm, I'm sorry' She ran a hand through her unruly locks. She'd cut it shorter than he remembered, her curls falling at the side of her face, insinuating her cheek bones. He shifted his weight nervously, unsure of what to do. He hadn't meant too. He'd just needed space. 'Peyton?'

'I'm fine' She mumbled. 'It's fine- this is ready so…' She trailed off, busying herself with dishing up their dinner. The initial shock of his sudden coldness had left her feeling numb inside. She couldn't bare to see him so disconnected, unable to look at her and tell her what he was feeling. That's one thing they'd always been good at doing, he was the only person she'd ever managed to open up too, the only person that had ever just understood her and the last two years had been hard on her. Not having that person who she could speak to. She set the plates down on the table, both sitting in silence as they slowly ate. Lucas mumbling the odd word here and there in an effort to make up for his previous actions. 'Are you done?' Peyton asked after fifteen minutes of awkward tension.

'Yeah..er, th..thanks' He stuttered as she cleared away, bunging the plates into the sink with every intention of washing them up but instead found herself gazing into the misty window, inspecting her reflection. She conscientiously tucked a curl behind her ear and rubbed her perfect lips together.

'Luke' She abruptly turned around.

'Yeah?' She stepped over to him, reaching for his hand. 'What...what is it?' He asked confusedly, as she yanked him up, leading him out of the room with a matter of urgency. She didn't answer, silently leading him upstairs to her room, their room. A small smile tugged at her lips at the thought, he was back, it was their room again. She no longer was on her own, Isabel had a daddy again, she was no longer a single parent struggling to bring up a child that half the time she didn't understand or have a clue how to handle. They were in it together. She carefully closed the door behind them. He glanced around. Everything looked the same as when he'd left, albeit, it was somewhat more messier. He always was the neat and tidy one, Peyton just didn't seem to understand how to keep things orderly. She finally released his sweaty palm, moving robotically, slowly edging away from him, her hand moving behind her, reaching for the zip of her dress and giving it a gentle tug, her nervous green eyes never leaving his. He gulped, realising immediately why she'd led him upstairs. She wanted to fix him, to make him remember how happy they'd been, how completely head over heels in love with him she was. It had been too long. She turned around, her back to him, waiting expectantly. Lucas watched, his eyes travelling up and down her beautiful body, admiring her every curve. It took him a few minutes to respond, taking a step toward her. She shivered as his hand finally, slowly trailed up her back, before finishing off the small detail she'd started, pulling the zip the rest of the way down with a sharp yank. She gasped at the sudden jerk. He swallowed thickly as more creamy white flesh came into view, beautiful soft skin that he was aching to touch. Hesitantly, with shaking hands, his fingers crawled beneath the material. She immediately lent back into his powerful arms, her eyes closed, basking in the physical contact she'd so greatly missed. He took his time, reacquainting himself with her body. God he'd missed her. He gently slid the straps off of her slender shoulders, sending the dress to the floor, his lips brushing over the back of her neck. 'I love you' She murmured, tears finally escaping her weary eyes. He turned her around, wiping them away with his thumb. 'I love you' She desperately wanted to hear him say it back, needed him to say it, but he didn't, instead he laid her back on the bed, ridding himself of his t-shirt before hovering over her. His serious eyes staring at her hungrily. He groaned loudly. He'd forgotten what it felt like, to have her long legs wrapped around him, her delicate hands running up and down his back, her hot breath on his neck. She arched her back, rocking her hips against him. 'Tell me you love me' She whispered. His eyes flickered to hers.

'Have you been with anyone else?' He suddenly found himself demanding, his eyes searching hers. That was the last thing she'd expected to hear and was certainly not the words of love and devotion she so longingly wanted to fall from his lips. His imagination had run away with him during his absence, so much so that he'd convinced himself that she was having some sordid affair. He'd spent so many nights with heart wrenching images invading his mind- picturing her with other men- wondering if she'd given up on him, if she'd simply needed some relief. She immediately stopped thrusting her hips forward, her eyes clouded over.

'What?' Her hoarse voice asked disbelievingly.

'I need to know' He pleaded.

'Lucas' She shook her head, blinking away her tears, she couldn't believe what she was hearing- yes it had been hard but never, never could she ever be with anyone but him and she'd thought he'd gone away trusting her, believing in her but that trust was something that had been slowly destroyed. He didn't trust anyone anymore. 'I never' She bit her lip. 'I swear. I love you, how could I' He searched her eyes, studying her sceptically. 'Luke' She exhaled heavily, trying to conceal the sob that was threatening to escape her quivering lips. She needed him to believe her. 'I love you' Whether he believed her or not she didn't know but his lips were suddenly back on hers and he was kissing her desperately.

'MUMMY!' Peyton's eyes darted open, whimpering at the sound of her daughters cry. She really didn't think that she could physically leave Lucas right now, She desperately needed him, he needed her. 'MUMMA' Lucas carried on issuing her neck with kisses, intent on ignoring the youngster. 'MUMMY' Peyton reluctantly bought her hands up to his shoulders, her daughters more frantic cries telling her that it wouldn't be much longer before they had company.

'Luke' She gently pushed against his chest. 'Luke' She swallowed, trying to move but he pushed her into the mattress gripping her arms painfully. 'Baby' She whimpered. 'Luke look at me' His eyes slowly found hers. 'If I don't go and see her she's going to come in' She whispered desperately knowing they didn't have much time before the small child worked up enough courage to leave her room. The last thing she wanted right now was their four year old to walk in and see them.

'Muuuummmy'

'I'll be back' She promised. He exhaled heavily, slowly releasing his bruising grip on her arms and dropping his head into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. 'I'll be right back' She promised, slowly trailing her fingers soothingly over the back of his head, urging him to let her go. He slowly lifted his weight off of her, allowing her to get up, groaning painfully at the sudden lack of contact, throwing his head into the pillow exasperatedly. 'I won't be a minute' She murmured, throwing one of his old t-shirts over her head before going to see to their daughter. He lay there, his head buried in his pillow. He couldn't help but resent their little girl for taking Peyton away from him, she wasn't just his anymore though, she was a wife and a mother. He immediately felt guilty for even thinking that, she was his daughter he loved her, but he hardly knew her. When he left she was so little, so dependent on both her parents but now she was her own person, of course she was still small but she didn't need to rely on them as much, she no longer needed him like she had when he went. He shifted onto his side, sad tears trailing down from his broken eyes as he wondered if he'd always feel like this, like he no longer belonged, wondered if he could ever be happy and content again, wondered if Peyton deserved better, if both Peyton and Isabel deserved someone better, whether their marriage could possibly survive.


	3. Chapter 3

Peyton ran a tea towel over the now dry plate, her brow furrowed in thought. It had been a long, overwhelming twenty four hours and everything was such a blur. Brooke forcefully took the plate from her best friends hands, her eyes narrowed concernedly as she watched her move, wearily leaning against the side board, staring aimlessly out of the window. 'You alright Goldie locks?'

'Hm?' She mumbled, her mind else where.

'Are you ok?' Brooke studied her expression, trying to work out what was going through her friend's mind. She'd expected her to be in the best of moods. Her husband was back, after two years. She knew Peyton hadn't been happy without him but now they had a chance at living as a family, finally after everything they'd been through they were all together again. Brooke hadn't been best pleased when Peyton had rung her at the crack of dawn, summoning her to their house, after a lot of persuasion she'd dragged herself out of bed and after several mumblings of _I'm never going to drink again, _she'd nursed her aching head and got herself showered. She'd been more than a little stunned when she'd rolled on by an hour later to find Lucas slouched in the living room, silently watching Isabel playing. 'Peyton' Brooke snapped impatiently, tearing Peyton from her trance.

'Sorry what?' She turned her attention back to the pile of wet plates, continuing her job of drying.

'What's wrong with you? You seem a little distant?'

'I'm fine' Peyton forced a smile.

'You sure P Sawyer?' Brooke entwined their fingers. Before Peyton had a chance to respond Haley came bounding into the kitchen, a wide smile on her face.

'I can't believe he's back, you must be so happy Peyton.'

Peyton turned away, her smile faltering as she packed away the clean crockery. She'd not spoken so much as a sentence to Lucas all morning, he'd been somewhat distant and quiet and then Haley and Nathan had arrived with Jamie shortly after Brooke and it had been a whirlwind of hugs and kisses and them all catching up while she stood by .

'So how do you think Luke's doing Peyt?' Haley questioned, wanting to know whether her best friend was truly ok.

'Honestly? I don't know Hales, he, he's broken. I haven't seen him, truly, truly smile since he's been back.' Peyton avoided her eyes. 'In all truth I don't think he wants to be anywhere near me or Izzy.' Haley didn't say anything, instead stepping forward, draping an arm around her friend's shoulder- she knew how hard Peyton found it to open up. Her major issue was being left, abandoned and that's exactly what Lucas had done to her and now that he was back Haley knew she was even more terrified that things would never be the same again. 'He just needs time right?' She brushed away her worries with a small laugh. Haley nodded.

'He just needs time' She confirmed. 'He's in love with you Peyton. He'll be ok'

'Yeah he'll be ok P. Sawyer, he's been through a lot it's going to take a while for you all to settle back into the life you once new' Brooke reassured. Peyton nodded, smiling thankfully at her two supportive friends. 'Soooo...how was it?' A mischievous grin appeared on Brooke's face as she successfully managed to change the subject.

'How was what?' Peyton frowned, looking at her best friend confusedly, to this day she still didn't know what Brooke was going on about half the time.

'How was the' She glanced over her shoulder to check they hadn't been joined by two small children in the last ten minutes, knowing full well that neither of the two mums before her would be best pleased with her if they overheard her next words. 'the sex' She smirked. Peyton rolled her eyes. 'What? You're telling me after two years you didn't have wild amazing out of this world-'

'Ok, got the picture' Peyton mumbled agitatedly. 'We were, we were about to- Isabel woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep and somehow ended up back in bed with us'. She exhaled heavily.

'God he must be gagging for it, You should so dress up for him- a slutty nurse' Peyton frowned. 'No? School girl'

'Brooke' Haley laughed. 'Why don't I have Izzy tonight- give you and Luke some time alone' She turned her head, addressing Peyton.

'Would you mind?' Peyton asked shyly.

'Of course not.'

'I've gotta hand it to you P- I really don't know how you've lasted two years, christ' Brooke shook her head disbelievingly.

'Auntie Haley?' Isabel chirped, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

'Why yes pretty girl?' Haley tore her eyes from Peyton gazing down questioningly to her little niece.

'Can you help us make cakes?...pretty please' Her eyes widened excitedly.

'Well you'll have to ask your mummy, it's her house' Haley shot Peyton a smile.

'Can we Mumma? For Daddy?'

'Sure' Peyton nodded through a yawn.

'Yay'

'Why don't you go find your cousin and I'll get the ingredients together' Haley instructed, already looking through the cupboards. Isabel nodded enthusiastically, dashing out of the room. Peyton sighed, silently watching her friend set up the table for the two youngsters to make some cup cakes. She hated how her daughter looked at Haley- with such admiration. She was never going to be the idealistic mother that Haley was- she was disorganised and not at all maternal- but she loved Isabel more than anything and that scared her a lot, she was scared of losing her. I guess you could say since Lucas's departure she had become quite the insecure mum, Lucas and her had always made decisions concerning their little girl together and without him there she felt like she couldn't function- she found it hard to enforce rules and when the little girl tried hard enough she could get away with murder, but the second she was in her aunt and uncles company she was the well behaved daughter which didn't help any of Peyton's insecurities.

* * *

'Luke, Izzy and Jamie made something for you' Peyton announced, from the door way, watching Isabel wander into the living room, closely followed by her cousin.

'Daddy I made you cakes' Isabel nervously approached her quiet father, carefully holding a plate of cup cakes, still hot from the oven. Lucas glanced up at her, a forced smile on his lips. Every time he looked at her he wanted to break down. He hated that he'd missed out on so much, that she didn't even know who he was anymore. She sucked on her bottom lip, remnants of flour sprinkled on her cheek, her unruly locks clipped back on one side so he could see right into her wide blue eyes. 'Do you want one?' She asked shyly. Lucas felt a lump rising in the back of his throat as he stared at her. She was so, so much like her mother, minus the eyes, they were all his, but everything else was her.

'Thank you' He said hoarsely, taking one of the decorated cakes.

'Uncle Nate do you want a cake?' Isabel turned to Nathan, proudly holding the plate out, her whole demeanour changed within all of about a second. She stared happily at her uncle.

'Yeah daddy, try one, they're the best' Jamie joined in, wriggling his eyebrows temptingly.

'Hmm, thanks munchkin' Nathan gave the little girl a small smile and ruffled his son's hair, taking one of the small cakes from the plate. 'Mmm these are good you two, I didn't know you could cook Isabel- unlike your mother' Peyton whacked him playfully.

Both Jamie and Isabel giggled. 'I can cook' Peyton retorted, pouting.

'Of course you can' Nathan nodded mockingly.'You only nearly killed me and everyone else with your chocolate chip cookies the other week'. Lucas watched the interaction between his wife and brother, his eyes green with jealously.

'You said they were really good'

'Oh they were...just a little on the salty side. I was nearly sick' He exaggerated.

'Hey' Peyton shoved him irritatedly. Lucas watched the playful banter go on, wishing more than anything that it was him having this conversation with her, it should be him.

_'Oh man. I've got cookie dough all over me. It's even in my bra, maybe I should take it off'_

_'What?' Lucas' head peered around the wall. _

_'Sucker'_

_'Hey' He dodged the piece of cookie dough being thrown in his direction._

_'You surrender?'_

_'I give up, I'm putting the lid down'_

_'Mhm'_

_'Now, if you're going to be taking anything off. Please, please, please let me help you'_

'Luke? You ok?' Peyton hesitantly lent on his knees, wide green eyes staring up at him quizzically.

'Oh yeah' He shook himself from his daze, forcing a small smile for her. He glanced around, realising they were now alone, the children's laughter drifting in from the garden. 'Sorry, I was just thinking'

'About?' She cocked an eyebrow, sliding in between his legs and linking her hands around his neck, dying to be close to him, for him to hold her.

'You' A small sheepish smile graced his lips. Her eyes sparkled happily at his answer.

'Oh?' She prodded. He shrugged his shoulders, not divulging any more information. She removed her hands from him, disheartened by his lack of response. 'Hales said she'd have Izzy tonight so we have the place to ourselves' She informed him tentatively, fiddling with her fingers. 'I'm sorry about last night-'

'Don't apologise' He shook his head, he knew he'd been somewhat cold toward her all morning but it wasn't to do with the previous night. Of course he'd been a little disappointed to have to share their bed with a four year old on their first night reunited but it was hardly anyones fault. The reason for his mood was simply because he was finding the whole coming home to his family a little more than overwhelming. He'd forgotten how to act around these people and he knew by the way they all kept cautiously sneaking a glance at him that they recognised this significant change in his behaviour. He wished he could just flip a switch and go back to the Lucas they all so longingly wanted to be around. But not a single one of them could simply imagine what he'd been through during his time away, not one of them could comprehend what he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life, he couldn't just forget the last two years, it wasn't possible.

'Hey Blondie, Jamie and Izzy want you in the garden' Peyton averted her attention from Lucas, smiling at Nathan.

'Oh do I have too, I'm tired' Peyton mumbled, rubbing her eyes dramatically.

'Afraid so, why don't you come too Luke, Izzy would like you to watch her- they're playing basket ball- she's pretty good' Nathan smiled, trying to include his brother. Before Lucas could reply, Nathan abruptly seized Peyton by the waist, lifting her toward the door. She shrieked loudly, flailing her arms.

'Nathan you put me down' She feigned anger. During Lucas' absence they'd developed an even stronger bond. He looked at Peyton like she was his sister, trying to look out and protect her as best he could and not to mention being the best uncle he could to his favourite niece. He'd promised Luke he'd be there for them, he'd promised to look after them and he had. 'Nathan' She giggled.

'Let her go' Lucas' deep bark startled the squabbling pair, wiping both their smiles from their faces. Nathan immediately let the skinny blonde down, looking at his brother confusedly.

'Luke, we're just mucking around, I didn't-'

'You don't touch her, you hear?' He cut Nathan off mid sentence, pushing his baffled brother up against the wall, gripping his shirt, his fist raised, a wild expression on his face.

'LUCAS' Peyton screeched, yanking at his arm frantically. 'DON'T' Her high pitched yell caught his attention; his intense gaze temporarily leaving Nathan, glancing at her, her green emeralds piercing into his fiery eyes. 'Let him go' She growled. He closed his eyes tightly, his breathing ragged. Nathan and Peyton looked at each other bewilderedly as he slowly uncurled his fists, releasing Nathan's shirt.

'I, I'm sorry' He mumbled, dragging his shaking hand over the back of his neck. His eyes skipped around the room taking in the audience of people who'd appeared to see what all the noise was about. Both Haley and Brooke looked completely terrified, Jamie and Isabel hiding behind their legs. He swallowed thickly before abruptly hurrying out of the room, his head down, avoiding everyone's staring eyes.

'Luke' Peyton exhaled, attempting to go after him but Nathan pulled her back.

'Stay here'

'Nate' Tears clouded her eyes. 'I have to- he-' She shook her head, trailing off.

'Hey' He pulled her into a hug. 'It's alright, stay with Hales and Brooke while I go and talk to him, he didn't mean it Peyt, everything's going to be ok, I promise'.


	4. Chapter 4

'Luke-'

'I, I'm sorry Nate, I'm sorry ok?' He snapped.

Nathan swallowed, hesitantly stepping out onto the porch, making sure to leave a good a distance between them both. He really wasn't sure what was going through Lucas' mind right now, but what he did know was that he definitely wasn't the same brother he'd know two years ago. He lent on the wooded railing, following Lucas' gaze to the swing hanging from the willow tree at the bottom of the garden, creaking back and forth in the gentle breeze.

'Nothings going on with me and Peyton, Luke. You know that right? She's like my sister, she is my sister.' He rambled. 'And there's no way I'd ever do that to Hales or you, ever. I swear. We were just mucking around and I-'

'Nathan it's fine. I know. I said I was sorry alright' Lucas interrupted his speech, avoiding his eyes.

'Are you sure, are you, I mean is everything ok?'

'I'm fine'

'Ok, but you know if you ever, if you ever need to talk Luke, you know I'm here right?' Nathan edged closer, gingerly, placing a hand on his brothers shoulder. Lucas tilted his head, finally looking at Nathan.

'Thanks Nate' He nodded gratefully.

'I know you must have been through a load of shit, no one's denying that, but you have a kid, a kid who doesn't know you Luke, a kid who needs her Dad in her life and you have Peyton. She needs you more than anything. She's been a mess without you. She deserves to be happy and so, so do you. Can't you remember how it was before you left, how good it was? It can be like that again Luke, don't block us all out.'

'Just, just leave it Nathan. I don't need you lecturing me alright' He said shortly, turning away from his brother, refusing to participate any further with their conversation.

Nathan sighed, dejectedly leaving him alone and heading back inside. 'Is he alright?' Peyton jumped from her seat the second her brother in-law reappeared.

'Yeah, he's alright' He reassured the three girls. 'I think we should all go though' He suggested, linking hands with Haley. 'He needs some space'

Peyton nodded tiredly, willing tears not to fall, she knew things weren't fine, they were far from fine. 'Yeah, er ok' She forced a small smile. 'Are you sure it's alright for you to have Izzy tonight?'

'Of course' Haley insisted.

'Ok well I'll, I'll go get her stuff together then'

* * *

It had been over an hour since everyone had left. Lucas had stormed into the house as soon as they were gone, completely blanking Peyton when she'd tried to speak to him, instead brushing past her and heading upstairs. She'd sat, pondering his behaviour for some time, before working up the courage to go and see him. She bit down hard on her bottom lip, her breath laboured, her twitching fingers slowly reaching out for the bathroom handle, cautiously pushing on the door. The heat instantly hit her, steam rising from the hot bath water, flooding her senses. Slinking forward into the small room, her bare feet touched the moist tiles. She silently closed the door, her attentive eyes anxiously gazing at the figure sat in the white bathtub. Her heart expanding and then contracting in fast irregular beats as she stared at the shell of what was once her loving husband. Tears blurred her vision, her eyes struggling to focus as she studied his quivering lips. He was mumbling to himself, completely oblivious to her being there. Her eyes hesitantly drifted over his taught, muscular body, her gaze abruptly halting. A sudden iciness crept up her rapidly unstable legs, her eyes fixated on the mark just below his shoulder. Unintentionally she dropped to her knees, startling him.

'Pey…Peyton' He gasped, alarmed by her sudden presence, he jerked backward causing the once still and peaceful water to spill over the tub onto the black and white tiles, pooling around her pale legs and soaking the bottom of her khaki coloured summer dress. She ignored the sudden wetness her eyes intent on one thing only. Driven by an impulse of mere panic and fear she reached out, her trembling fingers gently touching the white scar on his right forearm, a mark similar to the one that scared her own leg.

'You, you were shot?' Her voice came out in a hoarse rasp as she battled with the terrifying knowledge that she could of actually lost him, a frightful image that had crowded her unwilling mind since the day he'd left. Through dry parted lips, he forced out a shaky breath before giving her a short nod of the head. She wished she could blink her eyes and wake up and discover this to all be a terrible dream. She couldn't help feeling so naïve, she'd spent the last two years believing that when he got back they could return to how they'd been. But that's not how it worked, wars could never be forgotten, they left scars, deep wounds that would always be there.

'It wasn't bad' He avoided her eyes, feeling more than a little exposed, here he was completely naked before her. 'I er, I'm sorry about before' He apologised sincerely. He watched her nod out of the corner of his eye before she abruptly stood, her sweaty palms gripping the side of the bath for support, giving him a quick nervous glance before raising her right leg, gliding her toes over the surface of the water, disturbing the calmness as she gracefully lowered her foot causing a swirl of ripples.

'Peyton?' He instinctively pushed himself back against the tub, warily watching her. He was terrified of hurting her, breaking her. He'd only been home a little over twenty four hours and had managed to upset her, hurt her more than once. He didn't know where his sudden bursts of anger and his temperamental behaviour was coming from. But it had shaken him, he was petrified of allowing her to get too close again, in fear that he might harm her again. 'You, you're-I don't think you should-' He swallowed his last words, his eyes on her legs, her beauty ending any logical reasoning. His pulse rate quickened remarkably as she slid into the water, her dress flowering out around her. Uneasiness escaped his throat in the form of an unintelligible mumble as her slender body fell upon him, her long legs either side of him. She excruciatingly slowly stroked her nose against his and then brought her mouth down to his in a short tender, sensuous kiss that shattered the last of his rationality and transformed him into a glistening sweat. Her mouth then moved lower and brushed against his exposed neck, her lips tentatively grazing the curve of his ear.

'Luke, I'm so sorry' Her dulcet voice rippled down his spine. She could lose herself with him, hide within his warm, strong, powerful arms. She could forget the ugliness of his awful behaviour a few hours ago within the safety of his touch. She wanted nothing more than to fix him, like he had her so many times. Giving in to her desire to be as physically close as possible, she rested her rosy cheek against his wet chest, his heart violently hammering against her ear. Lucas closed his eyes, his breath choked as another shudder fled down his responsive body. Peyton slowly lifted her head and stared up into his motionless features, her fingers knitting through his dirty blonde hair in an unyielding tangle. She shivered, watching his pale eyes flutter open. The muscles in her stomach contracted tightly as he gingerly placed his hand on her heart, feeling it's rapid thumping against her chest. She was dizzied by the physical contact, her whole body becoming paralysed. 'Tell me what happened?' She whispered. Lucas didn't respond. An instantaneous, dark, straining silence webbed the room. A frustrated tear raced down her cheek, she wanted him to talk to her, feel as though he could speak to her about all the turmoil he'd been through but her efforts were futile. A black sense of failure seeped through her veins, a vile chill swallowing her amidst the quietness.

'I…I can't talk about it' Her eyes darted up to his apologetic expression. 'Not, not yet at least' he added unsurely. The truth was, he wasn't positive that he'd ever want to share the last seven hundred and sixty six days that they'd been apart with her.

Her pulse beat rose, filling the air, a feeling of hope renewed at his response. Granted, he hadn't opened up to her but he wasn't shutting her out either. A sad smile formed on her lips and she gave a slight nod, timidly leaning her forehead against his, their breath mingling as one. Unconsciously his hands laced around her, his fingers skimming over the wet cotton as he pressed her against him. Her eyes were wide, staring into his. Her unblinking green orbs that unbeknown to her, pierced deep into his soul, soothing him.

'Let me, let me help you Luke' She whispered her eyes nervously following her hands as she reached for the plug, pulling it and allowing the water to drain out. Her words made him shiver, he wanted her, he wanted to forget, even if it was just for tonight, she could give him one night without a past or present, one night without the memories of nothing but bloodshed and violence, a night without a foreboding future, just one night.

'Peyton' Her name pierced through the intense haze, her eyes dashing up to meet his. The loud sound of water swirling down the plug hole filled their alert ears. His callous palms roamed down her sides, smoothing over the wet material that clung to her sleek figure.

'Shall we go to the bedro-' He cut her off mid sentence, crashing into her mouth with a sudden matter of urgency. She moaned in shock, her lips immediately opening at the touch of his tongue demanding entry. With exhilarating, insistent caresses, his tongue glided across her pearly teeth then darted inside her warm mouth, alluring her into a sensual battle that sent a wave of tremors radiating through her. She whimpered as his mouth left hers and he began placing a string of heated kisses down her throat and across her exposed shoulders. Suddenly he bit down, none to lightly, possessively marking what was his. A strangled cry left her mouth, her shaky hands twisted in his hair, holding on for dear life. Her throat constricted, her breathing a series of lip-parted gasps. There was no time for foreplay, both far too impatient, both too far gone. The straps of her dress fell from her shoulders and moments later his hands were beneath the soaked material, her body rocking against him, neither of them in control anymore. He lifted her, carefully switching their positions, laying her back in the now empty bath, eagerly rising her dress up her thighs, reaching between her legs, eliciting a low moan from her shaking body. He ripped her underwear away in one swift motion and then a second later he was inside her. He watched her intently, her back arched, her head roll back, her eyes closed tightly, her jaw dropped in a circular o shape. For a moment he stayed still, allowing her body to adjust to his presence within her. 'God I missed you' She murmured, burying her face in his shoulder as he began to move, slowly at first, in a rocking motion that soon became a completely frantic and yet still rhythmic act. It wasn't the joining of love they both longed for though, instead they were both seeking relief for the pain they'd felt, the loneliness they'd endured over their many days apart. It was a frenzied affair, over far too quickly for either of their likings. A tangled mess of sweaty limbs, both panting heavily, trying to regain some composure.

Lucas exhaled heavily through his nose, his forehead laced with beads of sweat. Suddenly he felt an unexplainable, overpowering sense of guilt. Peyton craned her head up from his chest, leaning in to tenderly kiss him. Instinct urged him to turn away though, he needed to get away from her quickly. 'Luke?' Swamped with shame he effortlessly manoeuvred her off of him, sliding from her embrace, avoiding her loving eyes. He didn't deserve her love, he couldn't love her how she wanted him too, he wasn't the same person she'd fallen for and he was afraid he couldn't be the person she needed, after everything he'd seen he wasn't sure he knew what love was anymore and Peyton Sawyer deserved more than that. 'Luke' A sob escaped her throat as he pulled himself out of the bath, grabbing a towel. 'Lucas' She pleaded, watching him hastily wrap the material around himself before hurrying from the room, leaving her. She laid back in the tub, shivering as she pulled the straps of her wet dress back over her barred shoulders, humiliating tears sliding down her pale cheeks. Peyton Sawyer had always felt insignificant and unwanted in the world but Lucas Scott had changed that. But as she curled up, wrapping her thin arms around her, she felt ashamed and alone yet again. Childhood memories, memories that she'd thought she'd buried and put to rest invaded her mind, memories that always involved death and abandonment. Determinedly she attempted to block them out before they could acquire any permanent hold over her, but only succeeded in replacing the overwhelming sense of rejection with anger. Bitter tears stung her heartbroken eyes as she was left to wonder if her husband still actually loved her.


	5. Chapter 5

Peyton pushed the door open, her dripping dress leaving a trail of water behind her. He was awake, his eyes gazing at her but no words were spoken. With a sudden determination she looked away, heading for the closet to change. She didn't understand. She'd never been treated like this. He'd never treated her like this. She shut the door with an unnecessary force that echoed through the room, letting him know of her obvious anger. She lent back against the door, taking a steady breath. She wouldn't cry again, she wouldn't let him see that he'd upset her. But he already had, the second her dripping form had edged into their room he'd noticed her tear stained cheeks and immediately felt awful for causing her to feel that way. With difficulty she managed to pull the stiff, wet material from her body, the dress falling limply, pooling around her feet. She brushed a towel over her sticky skin, quickly drying off before slipping into her silk night dress and re-entering the bedroom. She padded over to the bed, again ignoring her husbands eyes. 'Peyton' He tried but she deliberately laid down, her back to him, ignoring him, intent on sleeping.

* * *

_'It isn't safe here, you have to come with me'_

_The girl shook her head, cradling the youngster in her arms protectively, her eyes wide and glistening with fear. A string of foreign words suddenly escaped her dry lips. Lucas swallowed, he didn't understand but from the way she'd backed herself in the corner of the room he got the impression that she didn't want to go anywhere with him._

_'You don't understand' He stepped forward, glancing over his shoulder anxiously. The gunshots were getting progressively louder by the second. They didn't have much time. 'It's not safe, we have to go' He gestured wildly with his hands, trying to make some sense._

_She shook her head adamantly. 'No, no, no, no' Lucas swallowed thickly. He knew that word. Making a rash decision, he walked the few steps to her._

_'I'm sorry' He whispered regrettably, yanking the child from her arms. He had to do something, he couldn't leave them here._

_'No, no' The girl reached for her daughter, tears streaming down her dusty cheeks, shrieking angrily at him. Lucas didn't even attempt to console her, there was no time, they had to move quickly. He grabbed her wrist with his free hand, hoisting the little girl up on his hip, heading for the door. The heat hit him, sweat instantly dripping from his forehead. 'No' The lady was still demanding he let them go. _

_'It will be safer' He explained breathlessly, trying to hush her, the last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves. He dragged them behind a bombed building his eyes scanning the land around him, trying to find an escape. _

_'Scott what the hell are you doing?' His eyes darted to a fellow solider. 'How many times- we can't save everyone, you can't save everyone' He growled. _

_'We can't just leave them' _

_'The only way you can help is by concentrating on your job' _

_Out of know where there was a loud bang. The woman's mouth fell open, her eyes wide. 'Come on we have to keep moving' Lucas demanded. He'd get them out of here if it was the last thing he ever did. He tugged at the girls hand, urging her to keep moving. 'Come on' He looked at her again, this time noticing the blood slowly seeping through her thin dress. A second later her body was falling backward, hitting the ground with a loud thump. There was suddenly a round of gunshots. 'Scott Move' The solider yanked on his sleeve, shoving him round the building. He stumbled backward on shaking legs, shielding himself and the child. 'You've been shot in the arm' Lucas was unaware of anything, his eyes on the limp child, her shirt covered in blood, her eyes rolled back. __He sunk to the ground, his arm completely numb as he placed her on the ground. His throat constricted. His eyes bloodshot, staring at his crimson hands. __'Scott she's dead, get up, we have to go' __His body involuntarily jolted forward, throwing up the contents of his stomach, his right arm hanging limply. The pain suddenly became remarkably noticeable, he gasped, digging his fingers into the mud, his teeth gritted. The scorching heat encircled him, slowly consuming his entire being, sweat seeping down his trembling limbs, mangling with blood, mauling at his wounded arm. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' __He looked down at the child again, her face altered, her dark hair gone; the commotion around him warping reality, tears poured from his eyes. Using his uninjured arm, he frantically brushed the blonde curls from her face. Her motionless features stared back at him, wide blue eyes, no longer seeing. __'Isabel' _

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry'

Peyton gripped his shoulders, tears trailing down her pale cheeks. 'Luke, Lucas wake up' She urged.

He sat up with a jolt. Wide blue circles gazing at her in bewilderment. 'Peyton?' He rasped. She nodded, watching him shuffle back, leaning against the head board. 'Peyton?'

'I'm here' She whispered hoarsely, struggling not to break down. He abruptly reached for her, seizing her slender body, pulling her onto his lap to stradle him, holding her to his chest.

'Where's Isabel?' He mumbled deliriously.

'She's at Nathan and Haley's isn't she?' Was her muffled reply into his shoulder. He looked up into her worried eyes.

'Oh yeah' He nodded, slowly recollecting the past forty eight hours. He was home. Peyton and Isabel were safe. He gulped, wiping a hand over his sweaty forehead trying to gain some composure.

'Lucas are you ok?' He tensed beneath her, suddenly wishing she wasn't so close. 'You were shouting'

'I'm fine. It was just a dream' He brushed off, his eyes taking in her appearance for the first time. She'd changed out of her wet clothes and was now wearing a black silk night dress, the thin material soft against his bare chest, her damp hair sticking to him. He fiddled with the lace edging on her thigh, relief sweeping over him in waves, his dream was in the past, he was home. She was here, his girl in his arms right now, his child safe with his brother.

'You can talk to me' She stated. He didn't respond, choosing to ignore her comment. 'Lucas?' Peyton craned her head up from his shoulder. He was surprised by the amount of vulnerability that seeped through her voice.

'Yeah?' Was his low reply.

'Do you, do you still think that, that I'm pretty?' Her eyes cast down, fiddling with her fingers nervously. She'd never needed to be reassured of her beauty or his physical attraction to her. He licked his suddenly dry lips, unsure of how to explain his earlier standoffish behaviour which could be the only cause for her sudden insecurities.

'I-'

'Do you still love me?' She blurted. Again he froze. She could feel his whole body go rigid beneath her, his muscles tensing only heightening her thumping heart. His long silence didn't help to restore her faith in his love for her. 'Oh god, you don't' A sob quickly followed, escaping her quivering lips. She felt like her whole world was crashing down around her.

'No' He hastily gripped her shoulders, stopping her from scrambling away. 'Peyton, of course, of course I' He struggled to meet her hopeful stare. He didn't know why he was finding it impossible to spit out three words he'd told her so many times before. His uncertain eyes finally met hers, the look of desperation on his face making her stomach flip. 'Of course I do' She shook her head, glistening tears sliding down her white cheeks.

'No you don't. You can't say it' Again she tried to get up, bile rising in the back of her throat, but he was too strong. 'Get off me' She whimpered. 'Just, just get the fuck away'. His grip loosened for a brief second, shocked by the severity of her tone.

'Peyton, I've changed and I don't know whether I can love you how you need me to' He tried to explain the mad thoughts that had been spinning around in his restless mind.

'What the fucks that meant to mean?' She spat, her hands instinctively slicing through the air and hitting his chest. 'You married me, you made a promise Lucas Scott'

'You deserve more, you deserve to be happy'

'Happy? Lucas everyday you've been gone it's been hell, I'm happy with you' She insisted.

'I've done bad things Peyton, I've killed people, I have innocent people's blood on my hands'

'You were at war Luke, it wasn't your fault you were saving peoples lives'

'No, I'm no hero. I don't deserve you and I won't bring you down with me' He said it so quietly but she heard every last syllable.

'No' She shifted closer, clenching her legs around him. 'You're not bringing me down, you are a hero. My hero' She cupped his face, gently pressing her lips to his forehead, his cheek, his nose, his chin. He endured her kisses, trying to dissipate the uncontrollable arousal she was causing.

'Peyton stop'

'No' She begged.

'We can't do this'

'We did earlier' she laced her hand over his, guiding it up and down her leg.

'And we shouldn't have, I shouldn't have'

'Why? What's wrong with me?'

'It's not you, you're beautiful... I just can't'

'So you're just going to walk away? From us? From me? From your daughter?' She was speaking so quickly, her heavy breath hitting his face with every word, like a kick to the stomach. 'You promised to love me forever. If you leave me you're nothing but a coward, we can get through this, it's going take time, I'm going to be here for you, you've been through a traumatic time but it'll get better, we'll be a family again' Her arms snaked around his neck, again she left kiss after kiss on his face 'I won't let you leave me'.


	6. Chapter 6

It was late morning. Lucas lay wide awake, taking deep shallow breaths, his eyes darting to her every few seconds. She'd tangled herself around him, her legs twisted with his, her head on his chest. He could feel her heart beating steadily against his and it was somewhat soothing and nauseating at the same time. He'd never seen her so distraught as she'd been before she'd clung to him and eventually drifted to sleep. He hesitantly trailed his hand down her defined back, feeling every contort of her spine. She'd lost weight in her two years as a single parent and again he felt guilty for causing her such pain.

She began to stir beneath his touch and he instantly withdrew his hand, he wasn't ready to face her green eyes.

'Hi' She whispered, her voice a croaky rasp. He forced an uneasy smile as she shifted against him, crawling up his chest to place a chaste kiss on his unprepared mouth. She was willing to forget the night before, she had to. Her husband was possessed by haunting demons but she had every faith that he would heal and fight back if given the love and support he so truly deserved. She settled back against him, pressing her lips to his chest, her delicate fingers tracing up his abs. 'What's the time?'

'Er' His gruff voice sounded as he rose his wrist and peered at the watch. 'Just gone eleven.

'We need to go get Izzy- I said we'd meet Nate at the River court at twelve.'

His stomach twisted in knots. 'I think I might stay here'

'No' Her head darted up, gazing up into his face. She knew what that really meant- _you go and get our daughter and I'll pack up my things and be gone by the time you both get back_. 'No, Izzy will want to see you' She dismissed, slowly sitting up. 'I'm going to take a quick shower- and then we'll go?' She asked, sliding out of the bed, her black camisole falling over her hips as she stood.

'Yeah, ok' He averted his eyes to the ceiling, before she caught him gazing at her legs. 'The river court' He mumbled to himself.

* * *

As he stepped onto the tarmac, nostalgia flooded his senses. He recalled summer evenings hanging out with his closest friends, romantic evenings hand in hand with Peyton. The familiarity however did not erase the devastating feeling of loss. Basket ball had been his ambition, his life. Now, like most things in his world, it was a mere thing of the past. The place that used to make him happy, a place of tranquility, a place he sought comfort in was gone. The onslaught of wartime had killed his dreams along with his beliefs.

'Mumma' Isabel raced across the river court, wrapping her small arms around Peyton's legs.

'Hey you' The tall blonde ruffled her daughters golden locks. 'Did you have fun last night? Were you a good girl?'

'Uhuh. I'm playing basket ball with Uncle Nathan' She craned her neck up, pressing her chin against Peyton's waist as she stared up at her gleefully.

'Are you now?'

'Uhuh. He says me and Jamie are gonna be pros'

'Wow.' She smiled. 'Are you going to say hi to your Daddy Izzy?' She unravelled the youngster from her waist and directed her to a serious Lucas. She obediently looked at him, giving him a shy wave.

'Hey' His eyes skimmed over her tom boyish attire. Peyton eyed him, praying he could attempt to have a conversation with their young daughter but she was soon darting back across the court.

'She'll come round. She just needs to get to know you better' Peyton said surely.

'I'm not expecting her to throw her arms around me' Lucas forced a small smile, his eyes glued to the four year old. 'She looks like you when she runs, she's going to have your legs'

Peyton smiled softly. 'You should go over there. She'd like you showing her how to play'

'Maybe later' He nodded, sinking onto the bleachers. '…Peyton I meant what I said last night'

She tensed, ignoring his comment like she'd been ignoring the previous night, her eyes on the three figures on the far end of the court. She watched Nathan lift Isabel into the air, holding her right up above his head so she could take a shot. The ball effortlessly flew through the hoop.

'Peyton?'

'And I meant what I said.' She didn't look at him.

He ran his hand over his forehead and sighed. 'I just want you to be happy'

'Then get it into your head that what I want is you' She kept her gaze on Isabel as she spoke. 'What I need is you, what we need is you'

He stood. 'You don't need me' He argued. 'You've done pretty great without me'

'No, no, no' Her eyes darted to him, a small disbelieving chuckle escaped her. 'I've just about survived without you' She exclaimed. 'Promise me you won't leave, promise me you'll always be here'

He looked down.

'Lucas' She hissed. 'Promise me'

He sucked in a breath- In a moment of harsh clarity, his memory reminded him that he was in fact married, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health, he was to stand by Peyton Scott 'I, I promise' He complied with her order and nodded reluctantly. She seemed satisfied with his response, her head turning away from him.

'I'll go get Izzy and then we can go home' she announced. Lucas watched her walk gracefully across the court, wondering how long things would last before she came round to seeing he was right- she was better off without him.

* * *

'Right Isabel it's bed time, go put your PJ's on' Regardless of her mother's order, she continued to colour. She'd been acting up ever since they'd gotten home and Peyton was losing the will to live 'Izzy now'

'Nu-uh' Isabel shook her head obstinately.

'Uhuh' Peyton nodded.

'I wanna draw more' Isabel mumbled, refusing to stop doing her current picture.

'Well I'm afraid you can't' Peyton walked across the room, putting the colours away and forcefully removing the red crayon from her daughters tight grasp.

'You're stupid' Isabel stood up on her chair, hands on hips accommodating her true Peyton Sawyer pout.

'Don't speak to your mother like that' Lucas' eyes narrowed disapprovingly.

'Izzy get down' Peyton's face twisted in exasperation.

'No'

'Now'

'I'm hungry'

'No you're not, You've just had your dinner. Get off the chair'

'No, I'm not going to bed' The four year olds high pitched screech cut through the air as she stomped her foot unhappily. 'I hate you' a red light flashed in her normal blue eyes; an unmistakable anger masking her small features. Her words were like a kick to the stomach. Peyton's stern face fell.

Lucas had heard enough 'Go to your room' He growled, his chair screeching as he stood, the crayons toppling over and clattering across the floor. Isabel shook with fright, her eyes widened fearfully. The loud noise froze them all. 'Now' She didn't need to be told twice. She whimpered as she slid off her seat, fleeing from the kitchen in tears.

'Luke' Peyton's large eyes met his. She knew he had every right to, but he'd been gone so long that it felt strange to hear him discipline their child and she didn't agree with him scaring her. She drifted to the door but he caught her arm.

'Where are you going?' His voice shook, his face etched with innocent confusion.

'To see if she's ok' Peyton snapped.

'She need's to learn' He pulled her back into the kitchen.

'Yes but she's not a solider Lucas, you scared her'

'Do you always let her speak to you like that?' He fired back, ignorant to the distress his remark would cause. The last thing Peyton Sawyer needed was him testing her ability as a mother.

'She's only four plus she's tired and confused. Her Daddy, who's like a stranger to her has just come home. The, the last thing she needs is you frightening her' Peyton breathed defensively. Her chest grew tight as she tried in vain not to break down. She yanked her arm free from his bruising hold and crouched down to pick up the crayons that had fallen during his outburst. 'I know...I know I'm not good with her but...' Her emotions caught up with her and she trailed off, falling onto her knees and cradling her head in her hands. It was no good, she felt seemingly responsible for their child's behaviour. This was the part where he was meant to tell her differently and convince her that she was in fact a great mum but he just stood there, watching her as a strangled sob escaped her quivering lips.

'I'm... sorry' Lucas awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

Peyton dragged her sleeve across her wet nose and sniffled, wiping her eyes frantically. 'It, it's fine' She mumbled, wishing more than anything else that he'd wrap his muscular arms around her. But he didn't. She scrambled to her feet with a sudden urgency, taking a deep breath. 'It's fine' She repeated, her voice no longer shaky as she set the pot of crayons back on the table. 'I have to go see to her' She pushed past him with a sudden conviction, her feet carrying her as fast as they could, anticipating him following her. But he didn't. She slowed as she reached the top of the stairs, the unmistakable sound of her daughters cries making her own tears arise. She swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath before opening the closed door.

'Sweetie?' She edged into the dim room, her eyes on the shaking mess of blankets as she approached the bed. 'Baby, Are you alright?' Her voice calm and soothing.

'I don't like him, I, I want him to go back to the war'

Her vile words made Peyton feel sick, the thought of him leaving again was beyond her comprehension 'Isabel' Peyton frowned, pulling the covers back. 'Don't ever say that, ever. You hear me?' She shook her small shoulders in frustration, ignoring the small twinge of guilt as she regarded the youngster.

The little girl looked up at her with wide blue teary eyes, feeling awful for her mothers anguish filled tone. 'I'm sorry mumma'

Peyton sighed, sinking onto the single bed. She was becoming increasingly aware of the great impact Lucas' arrival home was causing on her little girl. Her whole world as she knew it had been disrupted in the space of an hour. Instead of having her Mummy all to herself she now had to share her with this man, whom she was to call daddy. Peyton wasn't naive, she knew Isabel. She wasn't fond of change. Her upbringing so far had been anything but constant and she herself could relate to that more than anyone. Thinking back to her early years made her feel queasy. She remembered her initial emotions following her mothers death. She remembered her father's consequential distance and coldness. She remembered the day when they'd finally established some sense of normality, when they'd finally got over her mother's death and he bought home a knew woman and yet again her world had shattered before her. He'd always asked if she was ok with him dating, made sure she was happy, but Peyton Sawyer, even at the tender age of ten put others before herself. If he was happy she would pretend she was too. She'd never had that constant love and care that she'd truly deserved and even now, after all this years, she felt an awful insecurity of returning to a life of unhappiness. She never wanted that for Isabel.

She lifted her small form onto her lap, cocooning her in a protective embrace. 'Baby, I know it's going to take a bit of getting used to but your Daddy loves you very much and he's just adjusting to being back at home'

'What's adjusting?'

'Getting used to being back with his family, he's been away for a long time. He really wants to be your best friend. You two used to be inseparable' Peyton smiled, an image of a two year old Isabel asleep on her Daddy's lap invading her mind.

'What's inseparable?' Isabel hiccuped.

Peyton smiled softly, stroking a curl out of her daughters face. 'You were never apart. From the moment your Daddy walked in the door you wouldn't leave his side'

'I don't remember' She sniffled, shifting herself onto Peyton's lap. 'Daddy scared me'

'I know baby, but he didn't mean to. You have to do as Mummy and Daddy tells you ok?'

'Ok' She took a shaky breath '...I'm sorry mummy. I don't hate you. I love you lots' She threw her arms around Peyton's neck.

'I love you too'. She closed her eyes tightly clinging onto the small child, trying to gain some strength. She hoped with all her heart that her reassurance was enough to make Isabel trust in Lucas. It would be a start at helping them rebuild a father daughter relationship and it would be a start at making them a proper family again.


	7. Chapter 7

Days dragged by and the Scott family struggled to find a common ground. Instead a routine was established; Lucas spent his days isolated, sifting through photo albums and family videos that he wasn't apart of, trying his best to learn who his daughter was. When three o'clock came, Peyton would go and collect the little girl from daycare and on the odd occasion, when they arrived home Lucas would take her for ice cream along the pier. His attempts, however were in vain. She'd quickly learned to obey her father and although she'd begrudgingly accepted that he was apart of her family, she was wary of his presence and rarely responded to his endeavor to create a relationship. Unlike his strive for approval from Isabel, Lucas had made no effort with his wife. He was short tempered, cold and communication was at it's worst, exchanging few words each day. She tip toed around him doing her utmost to please him and it was beginning to ware on her. Her initial happiness at his arrival home seemed so long ago. She'd given up on conversation, knowing she was only to receive a one worded response, she'd given up on trying to be intimately close in fear of him turning his back on her for the hundredth time. Instead she'd suddenly found herself spending more hours at the studio. When not at work or fending after Isabel, she was cleaning obsessively, in fact she'd become quite the tidy housewife.

'Luke?' Her weary voice caught his attention, he looked up from his newspaper, his eyes widening. She was stood, her back to him, ruffling through the top draw, clad in nothing more than her black lace panties. He shook slightly, startled by her blatant nakedness. 'I thought you could come with me to get Izzy from daycare today, what do you think?' She asked distractedly, successfully finding her matching black bra and yanking it out of it's hiding place. His eyes travelled up and down her creamy back. 'Luke are you listening?' She turned around to face him when no response was given. He'd spent the last few weeks trying not to focus on her for too long a period in fear that his desire for her would take over again but right now he couldn't dismiss the stirring in his loins. She was like a model in every sense, her tall slender figure, her blonde silky hair falling in perfect locks, framing her picture perfect face. She was exquisite in every way. He swallowed thickly in hope to aid his sudden dry mouth.

She smiled lightly, surprised by his lustful gaze. She'd convinced herself that he was no longer attracted to her. He could barely look at her most of the time. She timidly approached the bed, abandoning her bra on top of the sheets. 'You _can_touch me Luke' She whispered, sinking onto the mattress. His eyes were fixated on her chest. She reached for his hand, slowly guiding it up her stomach and curling it round her breast. 'I'm your wife- you're allowed to touch me' He remained mute, his eyes dark. It took him a few minutes before he gingerly moved his fingers on his own accord, brushing over her soft skin. She arched her back, a small moan of approval escaping her lips.

'No' His hand snapped back 'I, I mean, You're going to be late for work, I...I need to take a shower' He mumbled, hastily grabbing her bra and thrusting it into her arms before standing and padding across the room. The door closed heavily a second later, leaving her alone. Blinking back her inevitable tears, she sighed uneasily, taking a moment to compose herself before commencing the task of dressing. It was nearing eight, she had to get her little girl up, she had to get breakfast ready, she had to get to work, she had to get through another lonely day.

* * *

It was half two and Peyton had just arrived home, determined to make Lucas go pick up their daughter with her. She traipsed through the small house, opening the study door which had become his little private sanctuary. She wrinkled her nose up, upon entering. The room was cloaked in darkness, emphasising the dull brown walls. She exhaled. It certainly was stuffy, as if the room had been neglected for sometime. 'Hey' Her lips held an accustomed false smile as she eyed him, huddled on the leather sofa under a dim lamp, surrounded by scrap books and photo albums. Opening the window, she watched as a gust of air blew through the cream curtains. 'You ready to come get Izzy?'

'I'll see her when you get back'

'Please come' Peyton insisted, gently yet firmly taking a photograph of a three year old Isabel from his hand. 'You've seen them all now' She stated, gesturing to the piles of photos. 'She needs you now, it doesn't matter about the time you've missed, please come get her with me' She urged. He didn't argue, reluctantly giving in to her desperate plea, slowly lifting himself out of the warm chair and silently following her. It was a short journey. They were both silent as Peyton drove through the network of houses. She exhaled heavily as they reached the daycare centre. With Lucas home, the need for Isabel to attend the expensive preschool wasn't necessary but she was positive the small infant would rather play with her friends than be in her father's sombre company all afternoon.

'Haley rang while you were at work' Lucas mumbled as they walked over to the gates.

Peyton's eyes darted up to him, surprised by his low voice. 'Oh?'

Lucas nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets as they waited patiently for their daughter to run out. 'She said something about us going round there tonight with Isabel- for dinner' He kept his eyes focused on the building ahead.

'Oh' Peyton crossed her arms, shifting her weight. 'Well- do you want to go?'

'I don't mind' He shrugged.

She sucked on her bottom lip and gave a slow nod. 'That's a no then' She mumbled under her breath. He wasn't deaf, he heard her remark however neither of them had time to say another word as children began to flood out, a curly haired youngster bounding over to them on small legs.

'Mumma, mumma' Isabel's excited cheer enticed a smile onto Peyton's lips. . 'Hi'

'Hey you' She answered, kissing the little girl's head. Isabel's eyes slowly danced up to her father, a shy smile on her little rose bud lips.

'Hi Daddy'

'Hello' He answered awkwardly, forcing a smile that didn't do much for the child's ego.

'Hey Peyton' Lucas' eyes snapped up at the masculine voice, his gaze trailing over the man that was stood before his wife.

'Steve' She smiled, a genuine smile that Lucas hadn't had the pleasure of seeing an awful lot lately. He scolded himself at the thought, she'd had no reason to smile since he'd been back, it wasn't as if he was a bundle of laughs. Lucas contemplated his wife and the stranger. His pensive blue eyes watching her hand reach out and brush against the man's forearm as she spoke. His sweating palms curled into instant fists. His mistrust coming into play. He'd spent the last few weeks avoiding her, dodging her in every sense. She was better off without him, he'd convinced himself of that brutal reality; that She would in fact, be happier with someone else. But now, standing here and presented with what Lucas assumed was someone she'd most likely had a fling with, someone she'd probably had a relationship with in his absence, his belief that she should find someone else was pushed to the back of his mind. His blood began to pump at an unhealthy rate, fighting with every bone in his being not to smash his prepared hands into the man's face. Peyton's gaze temporarily met his, her eyebrow quirking slightly as she comprehended his bitter expression.

'Luke this is Steve, Katie's Dad' She gestured to a brown haired little girl, chatting animatedly to Isabel.

'It's nice to finally meet you, you must be happy to be back home with your family' Steve politely held his hand out.

'Luke' Peyton's brow knitted together in frustration when he didn't automatically return the gesture.

'Sorry' He shook himself from his stupor, reluctantly shaking the mans hand.

'Well I'll call you later with the details Peyton' He smiled. 'Katie come on' The little girl said her goodbyes to Isabel and followed her father.

'Details for what?' Lucas pried. Peyton's gaze lingered on him for a few moments. In the last thirty minutes he'd spoken to her more than he'd have normally said in a week and yet she didn't feel as if any progress was being made, in fact she felt like they were taking five steps back. He was jealous. He was insanely jealous of her talking to another man.

'Oh it's Katie's birthday next week- she's having a party' She informed him nonchalantly.

'Does Steve have a wife?'

Peyton looked at him with wide eyes, knowing exactly what he was thinking and it infuriated her. 'Come on sweetie' She grabbed Isabel's hand, leading her to the car.

'Well?' He prodded impatiently, catching her wrist.

'No' She groaned. 'They're divorced. Why?'

'He was looking at you'

'I know you probably find it hard to understand seeing as you seem to be lacking in the skill but that's generally what people do when they hold a conversation. They look at you' She snapped.

'Not like that'

'So I can't talk to anyone, in fear of them _looking _at me?'

'You can talk to people, just not people who're blatantly hitting on you'

'He's not like that, you're completely paranoid and not that it even matters, you can't even hold a conversation with me Lucas- what do you care who I talk to, who I see?' She exclaimed.

'I don't want you speaking to-'

'Don't you dare finish that sentence, you're not in the army anymore, you can't give me orders' She growled. 'I can't deal with this right now. You take the car' She slid her daughters back pack off of her arms and shoved it into the back seat. 'I'm going to walk to Brooke's with Izzy' She hoisted the confused child up onto her hip.

'Don't be stupid, get in the car' He ordered as she turned, pacing away in the opposite direction. 'Peyton- get back here'

'I'll speak to you later' She snapped, her feet carrying her as quickly as possible. Lucas watched her retreating form, his heart racing at an unhealthy rate. He had a sudden unexplainable want for her to do exactly as he said, he needed her to do as he said. Frustration bubbled in his eyes as he watched her continue to pace down the sidewalk, Isabel's golden locks bouncing as she peered at him with sullen eyes over her mothers shoulder. He lent back against the car, exhaling heavily and trying to regain some composure.

* * *

'He won't go anywhere near me, he won't talk to me and then I have a short conversation with a parent at Izzy's daycare- I talk to someone of the opposite sex and he suddenly gets all hissy about it'. Peyton ranted. She'd kept quiet about her fears and daily problems with her husband since his arrival home but right now she needed to get some of it off her chest.

'P calm down' Brooke sighed.

'Mummy are you mad with Daddy?' Isabel looked up from her colouring, her quizzical blue eyes wide.

'Mini P why don't you go watch tv, me and mummy will come in, in a sec'

'Yay. You rock auntie Brooke' the curly haired child scrambled from her chair, racing out of the kitchen excitedly.

'Honey come on, sit-'

Peyton cut her off. 'You know he's basically told me in so many words that he doesn't want to be with me anymore' Tears that had been daring to fall since she'd walked into her best friend's house, finally escaped, dashing down her pale cheeks. Brooke was by her side in a second, a comforting arm around her back.

'What?'

'He doesn't want me' She turned in her friends embrace, sobbing into her shoulder. 'He can't even look at me Brooke'

'He freaking loves you- of course he wants you'

'No, no, I really don't think he does anymore'

'P Sawyer' The brunette attempted to comfort her. 'Are you sure you're not being paranoid- it's going to take time'

'No, I, I swear. I new this was going to be hard but not this hard. I, I've tried but he's cut me off completely.' She knew he needed time to adjust back into his old life, but even through their lack of communication, Peyton had come to realise that her husbands attitude and beliefs had changed quite drastically and wasn't sure time was going to correct it. Lucas Scott had always been calm and laid back but he'd altered in his time in a tightly scheduled environment. He now liked things regimented and orderly which Peyton was finding hard to get her head round. 'He's not the same man I fell in love with' She whispered sadly. 'I just, I just want him back'

* * *

'Hi, is er, Peyton and Isabel still here' Brooke watched him shift his weight uncomfortably and pulled the door back, urging him to come in.

'They left to go have dinner at Haley and Nate's about half an hour ago'

'Oh' He turned to edge back out the door but she closed it, blocking his path.

'I was hoping I could talk with you?...Luke?' She tilted his chin, demanding he look at her.

'I'm going to be late- I just thought I'd pick them up on the way' He mumbled.

'A few more minutes won't hurt' She stated gently. 'I'll make us coffee' She tempted. Lucas sighed, he knew exactly what she wanted. He wasn't stupid. Peyton had come here and ranted to the brunette about his misconduct, about his cold behaviour. He reluctantly followed her into the spacious kitchen. 'How're you finding being home?'

'It's...fine'

'Yeah? I-'

'Look Brooke just say whatever it is you've got to say' He sighed exasperatedly. Her caring hazel eyes darted to his.

'I'm not here to judge' She defended. 'I can only imagine what's going through your mind and I'm sorry Luke, I am. But Peyton's my best friend and when she hurts, I hurt.' Brooke Davis, always the busybody. Water began to bubble inside the kettle, steam rising from the spout accompanied by a low hum, prompting Brooke to react. She leaned over the counter top and flicked the switch, carefully pouring the boiling water into two mugs. 'Lucas you can't tell her who she can and can't talk to' Brooke said calmly, avoiding his eyes as she set his coffee down before him. He gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to throw the mug into the wall.

'She's my wife I can tell her what I bleeding like' He snapped venomously.

'What's, what's wrong with you?' She stuttered, bewildered by his statement. She'd assumed her best friend was being paranoid but the man before her was unrecognisable.

'Nothings wrong'

'You're acting crazy. Lucas she loves you, she's in love with you and I'm telling you she hasn't been with anyone in the whole time you were away. You have nothing to worry about' He turned away, avoiding her accusing stare. 'We all know you've had it hard but can't you see you're hurting her? She just wants to love you, let her in'.

'You know nothing' He spun around, his finger pointed threateningly at her. 'Just stay away Brooke, you didn't see her, you didn't see her all over him- I'm her husband, she belongs to me' He shouted uncontrollably, a rage in his eyes that she'd never thought he were capable of. She edged back, frightened by his sudden fury.

'Lucas-'

'No' The coffee mug shook in his hand, he winced as the steaming water spilled over the rim and trailed over his wrist.

'Lucas' Brooke's hazel eyes grew wide, a swell of fear rising up in her chest.

'NO' He abruptly smashed his mug down hard on the counter top, the crockery shattering on contact, the steaming hot liquid missing her arm by mere millimetres but unfortunately didn't miss his hand. He grimaced, his arm muscles tensing as the burning water scalded him, a searing prickling sensation as the skin instantly began to tighten. She gasped, her clouded eyes watching him cower away in pain.

'Oh god' She bit her lip. 'Come here, come run it under the tap quickly' She ordered. 'Lucas'

'Just, just mind your own business' He exhaled, turning hastily for the door.

'Lucas wait- run it under the tap' She pleaded. 'Lucas...' Her plea fell on deaf ears, the front door slamming seconds later. Brooke sniffled loudly, wiping furiously at the tears that had settled on her cheeks. Lucas Scott needed help, she knew that for sure and she was determined to make him get it, not only for him but for his family and most importantly his wife and daughter.


	8. Chapter 8

Since entering the house, Lucas had gone directly to the study, to his place of refuge. Anger had been pumping through his every vein since the moment he'd left Brooke's beach house. The dull throbbing in his hand now disregarded as his mind was occupied with the argument he'd just had with Brooke. He contemplated her words over and over, until the repetition of her statements became distorted. _She was meddling with everything, she was interfering with his relationship with Peyton. She was trying to split them up. She wanted him out of the way so she could have her best friend all to herself._His uninjured hand twitched, his fingers clawing at the leather arm of the chair. Images were flashing through his deluded mind. They were so vivid, so real. Peyton stood on the opposite side of the room, her hair elegantly pinned back, a few perfect curls falling down at the side of her face. A black dress hugged her perfect body. The strapless bodice swept down to an elegant ruched waistline, the full skirt gathered at one side where a silk black corsage was pinned. He watched her ruby red lips spread into a smile. And that's when he noticed a man standing beside her, a man that wasn't him. She twirled around and fell into the pair of strong open arms. He blinked, this was a dream, this was surely a dream.

'I love you' Her voice slurred to the man. Lucas closed his eyes. This wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

* * *

Peyton exhaled heavily, hoisting Isabel up for the fifth time. It was only a five minute walk from Haley and Nathan's large house but when carrying a limp four year old it seemed somewhat longer. She had gone to her best friend earlier in the hope that clearing her head would relieve some of her pent up frustration, but it had only worked as a catalyst and her mind had gone into overdrive. More than anything she wanted to relax- she'd spent the whole evening trying to think of anything other than Lucas but she was stuck in a ferocious battle, her husband was becoming a burden and the disconcerted twenty six year old was finding the whole situation unbearable. It was nearing eleven when she finally reached the place she called home and walked through the front door, a sleeping Isabel still cradled in her weary arms. She'd had a pleasant evening at her brother in-law's house but Lucas' lack of presence, although expected, had still left her disappointed. He hadn't even attempted to amend his earlier behaviour. She quietly made her way upstairs, carefully settling her baby girl down on her small bed and undertaking the tricky task of changing her into some pyjama's for the night. After running herself ragged with her cousin, Isabel had well and truly past out on her aunt Haley's lap. Peyton pulled the light sheets over the little girl, watching her contently curl up into her bed covers without a fuss. After lightly pressing a kiss to the infants head Peyton left, pulling the door to behind her. She, herself was just as exhausted and sleep was more than appealing right now but the blonde was as stubborn as she was at the age of nine and wasn't willing to let her head hit the pillow until she'd said what she considered only fair to Lucas. She couldn't forget the accusing look he'd given her earlier and hated the way he'd suddenly started ordering her around. After a quick search of the upper floor she headed back downstairs, quickly finding his brooding form in his predictable spot. The study was dark, save for the glow of the moon cutting through the open curtains. Nerved by the sinister air, she moved hesitantly, her gaze travelling from the floor. Noticeably deep breaths sounded as she listened carefully. Fathomless, dark blue eyes stared intensely into the sea of shadows.

'It was nice of you to show yourself' Her sharp voice reigned sarcastically. 'Haley and Nathan were really looking forward to seeing you' She crossed her arms over her chest, standing tall and confident, she wasn't going to loose this argument. She took a step further into the room, switching on the main light. In a second his features were lit up. Blinking slightly at the sudden bright light, he tried to decipher who was standing in the doorway. She could almost hear his heart pounding. She let out a long shuddering breath. He had become so unlike the former calm, level-headed man that she'd fallen in love with and the stranger before her shook her to the bone. 'I'm sick of this' She announced, her voice anything but even, reflecting her distress. 'I'm sick of everything' her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob as tears began welling in her emerald orbs. 'God damn it look at me Lucas' She stomped her foot, her face sullen with helplessness. Still his vacant eyes stared out before him. Peyton sunk to the floor beside the sofa, her teeth gritted with anger now. 'I said...' Her anguish filled expression fell as her gaze landed on his wounded hand. 'Oh my god, what-what happened to your hand?' Her tone softened remarkably and her planned argument quickly went out the window. He was mute 'Lucas?' Silence. 'Have you put anything on it?' She demanded concernedly. Silence 'I'll go get some ice'

'It's ok' He mustered dully. She ran out of the room, returning minutes later with a tea towel and ice pack. The cushions dipped, her curls bouncing as she dropped ungracefully onto the sofa beside him.

'What happened Lucas?' She whispered softly. He watched her hand gently lay the ice pack on the visible burn, the coldness instantly numbing the dull pain. 'What happened?'

'I dropped my coffee' His eyes were lifeless, two dark pupils staring at the wall ahead. Peyton swallowed.

'You dropped your coffee?' she uttered doubtfully.

'Where were you?' His head swivelled to face her, his jaw tight.

'I...at Haley and Nate's' She responded confusedly, her face plastered with concern. He shook his head. He'd seen her. He'd seen her with him.

His deceiving peripheral vision was falsely convincing him that they weren't alone. His eyes jolted to her and she jumped. 'He's here now'

'Wh-who?' Peyton whispered. 'It's just me and Izzy Luke.'

'You're lying' He snarled, his face twisted, teetering on the brink of destruction. She shook her head bewilderedly, unable to find words as she stayed staring into his dark, angry eyes. A shrill ringing pierced through the eerie silence breaking their eye contact. It rang once, twice.

'Hold this' Peyton sniffled, moving his hand to the ice pack as she stood.

'Don't answer it' He muttered.

'It's late- it could be important' She said calmly, moving to the study desk and lifting the ringing phone to her ear. 'Hello?...Brooke-'

Lucas lurched from the couch in one swift motion, throwing the ice to the floor and snatching the phone from his wife's hand, hanging up.

'Lukeee, what the hell are you doing?' She exclaimed.

'I said don't answer it'

'I know but- it was Brooke, she sounded upset, give me the phone'

'No'

'Lucas-' She gasped, her stomach contracting fearfully when he grabbed her upper arm, shoving her toward the sofa.

'I don't want you talking to her'

'What?' She whimpered as he roughly sat her down.

'She, she wants us apart Peyton, she, she said she thought, she thought it'd be best if we, we weren't together- if I leave'

She opened and closed her mouth like a guppy fish, Brooke wouldn't say that. She stared at him sceptically. 'Luke you, you'd never lie to me would you?'

'You think I'm lying?'

'Brooke would never say that, she'd never say that' Peyton retorted.

'She did Peyton, she did. You belong to me' Peyton's emerald eyes narrowed as she watched him trembling. 'You...belong...to...me...right?' He asked breathlessly.

'Of course I do' She nodded, warily shifting closer to him. 'Lucas, sit down' His eyes flickered as he dropped onto the cushions. 'Are you ok? You, you're shaking' Tears glazed over her eyes as she nervously watched his hands, that were suddenly trailing relentlessly up and down her jean covered thigh.

'I'm fine' He exhaled.

'Luke' She muttered hoarsely, trying to control her tears as she gingerly laced her fingers over his, trying to slow his haphazard movements.

'Why are you crying?' He snapped frustratedly.

'I, I just, you're scaring me. I, I don't understand.' She whispered. 'One min-minute y-you don-don't want m-me near you an-and now y-you're l-like this'

'Stop crying' He growled lowly and Peyton had never been more frightened of him. She abruptly went to get up but he pushed her back with force, pinning her against the sofa.

'Lucas-'

'I love you so damn much and all you've done is hurt me' He spat, his forehead creased, his whole body breaking out in a cold sweat.

'What?!' Peyton breathed. That certainly wasn't the declaration of love she'd been waiting so long to hear.

'You think I don't see you- you think I don't know'

She pressed herself back even further into the cushions, trying to escape the bruising grip of his hands.

'Admit it'

'Admit what? Lucas you-you're not making an-any sense, have, have you been drinking?' She sobbed.

He snickered. 'You're a slut- I saw you, I saw you with him'

Peyton took a shaky breath, 'This, this is about ear-earlier is-isn't it?' She whispered. 'About St-Steve? Luke you're delusional- I swear on my life- he's just a par-parent at Izzy's sc-school. You think, think I'd ever seriously do that-that to you?' She rambled. He suddenly released his tight grip, his shaking hand clutching at his chest. 'Luke?' Her cold hand reached for his cheek. 'Are, are you ok?...I'm going to call an ambulance' She choked out.

'No' He gritted his teeth, grabbing her wrist. 'I'm fine'

'No, no you're not' She cried frantically, helping him sit back. Speckles of fear began to show in his blue eyes, only further worrying an already hysterical Peyton. 'I'm going to call an ambulance' She stood on shaky legs, fumbling with the phone, her free hand gripping his as she waited for an answer. 'It's ok Luke, we-we're going to be ok. You-you're going to be ok'


	9. Chapter 9

Brooke's gaze lingered on the tears that had leaked from her friend's greens eyes and settled on her blotchy cheeks. She hadn't seen her in such an ugly state since the night of their prom. The brunette's normal courageous facade faltered for a second as the atrocity of that night flooded her senses. She could almost feel the muggy air of the basement, the ropes snaked around her skinny wrists. She snapped her eyes closed, shaking her head lightly; she'd not allowed Ian Banks to dominate her or Peyton's life and she wasn't about to let him take control of her the second a crisis hit- she had to be strong for Peyton, she had to help her through this. Peyton's dark blonde locks hung drably, the bright lights of the hospital only highlighting her pale complexion. The little girl sleeping upon her lap was her own source of comfort right now, her trembling fingers fiddling restlessly with the child's curls as she went over the last hour. Everything had happened so fast, the ambulance had arrived in minutes and it was only when Lucas was being escorted outside that she remembered her daughter fast asleep and tucked up in her bed. It was at that point that she'd broken down and allowed a paramedic to assist her in going to get a sleeping Isabel. After the initial shock of being woken up and taken into an ambulance, the four year old had settled on her mother's lap and drifted back into a peaceful slumber once at the hospital.

'Mumma?'

Peyton snapped out of her daze, her eyes locking with the set of diamond blues staring up at her. 'Baby'

'Where am I?' Isabel quiried sleepily, rubbing the ear of her worn bunny over her sleep filled eyes.

Peyton resisted the urge to start crying. 'We'll be home soon'

'I'm cold'

A tired Peyton awkwardly lent forward, still supporting her little girl with one arm, using the other to slip her black hoody off and wrap it over Isabel's blue polka dot nighty. 'Better?' With a thumb in her mouth, the child nodded. 'Close your eyes baby' Peyton forced a smile for her, cradling her closer and rocking gently.

'Peyton' Her name came out as a breathy rasp, making Brooke very much aware of the flight of stairs she'd just raced up. Peyton's lids flickered up and she sucked in a breath, determinedly not allowing a sob to leave her lips. 'What, what's happening?'

'I don't know' Peyton whispered, her eyes dropping back to Isabel, relieved to find her asleep again. Brooke sat beside her. 'I think. I think he was having a heart attack'

Brooke instinctively reached out, scraping a blonde lock behind her best friend's ear.

'I-I-I've b-been away from him f-for two years a-and n-now we're fi-finally reu-united-' Her shaking hand flew to her mouth, stifling a persistent sob. 'I-I can't loose him'

'You're not going to'

'Don't do that'

Brooke's eyes widened, surprised by Peyton's sudden change in tone. 'What?'

'Don't tell me everything's going to be fine Brooke, just don't.'

'Peyton-'

'Two dead mum's, an absente father and a husband away at war for two years kind of wares on your optimism'

'Mrs Scott?' Peyton's dialated pupils swiveled from Brooke to the Doctor standing before them. She hatily stood, clumsily shifting Isabel into Brooke's unprepared arms.

'Yes?' She answered hesitantly, crossing her arms over her chest, preparing herself for the worst.

'You can see Lucas now.'

'He's ok?'

'When you bought your husband in earlier he was suffering from a panic attack'

Peyton's stomach churned. 'N-not a heart attack?'

'The symptoms can be similar, but no, it wasn't a heart attack. A panic attack is when your body experiences a sudden rush of intense psychological and physical symptoms. As you witnessed tonight, it can still be very frightening and intense, but it hasn't caused your husband any physical harm. He's going to be just fine'

'But-but why did it happen?'

'Well it's hard to say, it is not clear what causes such attacks. In many people, symptoms develop in association with major life changes and major lifestyle stressors.'

Peyton swallowed. 'He came back from war a month ago'

'I see' The doctor nodded. 'That certainly could be a trigger.' He looked down at Lucas' medical records. 'From what Lucas has described to me this isn't the first time he's had an attack' Peyton's eyes glazed over at this, she hated that he hadn't felt he could confide in her. 'I'm going to prescribe him with some anti-anxiety medication. If these episodes persist I'd suggest he sees a specialist that can discuss other methods that can help him to cope'.

Peyton nodded a little dazedly. 'So he's going to be ok though?'

'He's very healthy' The doctor reassured.

'Can, can I see him now?'

'A nurse is just doing a blood test to be on the safe side, she'll call you in when she's done and then he's free to go, ok?'

'Ok' Peyton forced a small thankful smile. 'Thank you'

The doctor nodded in response, before hurrying off to see to other patients.

'He's going to be ok'

Brooke smiled uneasily, not quite certain of that. 'Yeah, that's great P.Sawyer, see I told you'

The blonde sunk back into her chair, a little more relaxed. She leaned over Brooke to her sleeping daughter, brushing her curls away from her face. 'She's like him'

'What?' Brooke mumbled, watching her best friend.

'Izzy, she's like him'

'She's like you too. In fact she's like a replica' Brooke smiled, looking down at her god daughter.

'No' Peyton shook her head absentmindedly. 'She's just like him'

'Peyton' Brooke whispered, loosely threading her fingers over Peyton's hand. 'Sweetie' She cooed gently. 'You- earlier, what happened when you were on the phone to me?'

Peyton's emeralds jolted up, 'What do you mean?'

'Lucas was yelling'

'No' Peyton argued defensively. 'We were just talking, he was talking, I didn't mean to hang up, it was an accident' She rambled.

'Peyton' Brooke sighed agitatedly. 'I'm your best friend. Please don't lie to me'

'I'm not'

'Lucas came round earlier, he scared me-he-he smashed a mug of coffee Peyton, it-it nearly hit me an-and it really burnt his wrist-'

'It was an accident, he said it was an accident'

'No- I-I think he needs help'

'He's not a psycho- it was an accident'

'I'm only trying to look out for you- you yourself were telling me this afternoon that he wasn't the same Lucas- you were right'

Peyton opened her mouth to respond but a nurse appearing gained her attention. 'Mrs Scott?'

'Yes?'

'You can come in now'

Peyton smiled. 'Thank you' She stood quickly. 'Brooke would you mind taking Izzy back to yours?'

Brooke nodded. 'Of course'

'Thanks' She pressed a kiss to Isabel's head 'I love you' She whispered, taking a deep breath. 'Thanks Brooke' She quickly kissed her best friend's cheek before following the nurse.

* * *

'Doctor Fern?' Brooke hesitantly asked, hoisting a limp Isabel up on her hip.

'Yes?'

'I-I'm a friend of Mrs Scott- you were just talking to her?'

'Oh yes' He nodded, showing some recollection as he looked over a clip board a nurse had just handed him.

'Well, I-I think Lucas needs more serious help'

He raised his brow, giving her his full attention. 'And why's that Miss...?'

'Davis'

'Miss Davis?'

'He's acting so uncharacteristically- he's so angry. I'm worried for Peyton-'

'We can't interfere with domestic affairs Miss Davis, if there's a problem Mrs Scott will need to seek help by contacting the police, there she'll be able to testify against her husband and an inquiry can be made but-'

'You don't understand- that's not what I'm saying at all. It's just he's changed, he's not usually like this- he's become so possessive lately'

'Doctor Fern you're needed in room 108' A nurse informed him.

'I'm sorry Miss Davis but as you can see I'm very busy, this is an emergency room, I can only help in sorting out what's needed to prevent his panic attacks, maybe you should talk to a counsellor-' He suggested and in a second he was gone. Brooke shook her head in disbelief. She'd never been much of a fan of doctors, they killed not saved. That had been her opinion since a little girl. She could remember visiting her grandparents for the last time here and the frail image of Peyton's mother often obscured her mind. She didn't know how her best friend was handling being here. 'Come on Izzy, lets get you snuggled up in bed' She cooed. Maybe she was over reacting. Maybe things would get easier. She knew how her best friend worked though and right now she knew Peyton was terrified, terrified that Brooke was right. And as expected she'd acted accordingly, defending him every way so she wouldn't have to face the possibility of Brooke's words being true. All the brunette could do is hope that she'd come to her senses sooner rather than later.


	10. Chapter 10

'Can I get you anything?' she asked for the third time.

He shook his head against his pillow. They'd been home for an hour now and Peyton was finding it hard to sit still.

'Luke, the, the doctor said that you've had one of these attacks before?'

He scratched his forehead, finding it hard to look into her hurt eyes. 'I...I think so' He mumbled tiredly.

'When? Why didn't you tell me?'

'You were at work, it doesn't matter, it's only happened a couple of times Peyton and the doctor said I'm fine'

'It does matter, you didn't know it was a panic attack Lucas, it could've been really really serious.' Her voice rose with exasperation. 'If it carries on you can get help'

'I'm fine'

She exhaled heavily, shaking her head indignantly. 'Brooke said you nearly hurt her earlier tonight' She stated casually, twirling the bed sheets round her restless fingers.

'It was an accident I told you that'

'Ok' She muttered quickly, fearing his temper if she said otherwise.

'Look Peyton...' He breathed '...I'm sorry about earlier I just, I overreacted.'

'It's alright'

He nodded quietly. 'It's just I, sometimes I don't understand why you, why you waited for me and...and sometimes I convince myself that you, you don't want to be here with me and I-'

'Lucas' She smiled softly, interrupting his rambling. 'I promise I'm not going anywhere. I could wait forever for you. I love you and nothing, _nothing_ is going to change that'

He pulled the covers up higher, rolling onto his side and away from her intense gaze 'Maybe we should sleep now?'

'Yeah' She sighed sadly, reaching for the bedside lamp. '...Good night then'

'Night'

* * *

He was having that dream again, that haunting dream he seemed to battle with every night since he'd arrived home. He woke with a start, his eyes immediately darted to the peaceful sleeper beside him, familiarising himself with his surroundings. Staring idly at her, he came to the realisation that they were alive, that it'd been a dream, Peyton and Isabel were alive. He was home and they were safe, he was here to protect them. Minutes past. In the last month their relationship had become devoid of emotion. His lack of affection stemmed from him struggling to trust her and his never ending guilt. Due to this, Lucas had successfully managed to alienate himself and his lack of intimacy had come to make Peyton feel worthless and abandoned. Without even realising what he was doing, he was pulling the sheet down, reassuring himself that he wasn't hallucinating. He gulped at the pure sight of her. He didn't how things had gotten so bad. His behaviour was temperamental and he didn't know how to deal with his constant numbing pain. He didn't take delight in anything any more, he just wanted to feel again. Slowly he found one of his hands trailing down her side, his fingers moving on their own accord to brush over her silk covered chest. Her sleeping body arched instinctively into his touch, fueling his already growing arousal. It was only when he pushed the silky material of her camisole up her thighs and over her toned stomach that she jolted awake to his lips boldly dancing against her creamy skin.

'Luke?' She mumbled sleepily, sitting up sharply.

'Lay back' His low commanding voice startled her. 'Lay back' The insistent need to please him overwhelmed her. She obediently fell back against the bed, rubbing her sleep filled orbs. He took a shaky breath, his hooded eyes scanning her hungrily.

'Luke?' Peyton watched him, her lips curving into a smile as she realised what was going on. She was only too happy to oblige. She raised her hips when she felt his fingers yanking the skimpy material of her underwear down her smooth legs. 'Baby' She cooed, reaching for his face, lifting her head to kiss him. He dodged her lips, concentrating on getting his boxers down. Peyton's eyes immediately narrowed at his cold move. 'Lucas' She lent on her forearms watching him. 'What's wrong?' Now free of all clothing, he crawled up the bed, looming over her.

'Lay back' He insisted. His hands trailed persistently up her thighs. Separating her knees with his own, he settled himself between her long legs. She sighed in contentment and cupped his serious face for the second time. Before she'd successfully joined their lips as she so badly wanted to he was pushing into her. She gasped, arching her back immediately, unprepared for the abrupt intrusion. 'Lucas' She breathed, blindly gripping his shoulders, trying to adjust to his sudden presence within her. 'Slow down' She whimpered. His eyes were glazed over, staring out straight ahead, grim beads of sweat trailing down his furrowed forehead. 'Luke?' She pleaded, moving her shaking hand to stroke across his cheek, urging him to focus on her, urging him to see her discomfort, he roughly pinned her arms back above her head, paralysing her with fright. It was never just sex with them. He always looked at her so adoringly, he always made it about her, about pleasuring her. They always made love, but this was the furthest thing from love she'd ever experienced. He was fucking her and she didn't like it. He wouldn't even look at her. Still holding her wrists with one hand, he moved his other to raise her right leg higher. He grunted, his head dropping to her shoulder. With hesitance she rose her other leg, closing her eyes tightly as he thrust deeper. She felt obligated to satisfy him, she yearned for his approval. She willed herself to relax, she'd been aching for this physical closeness for so long and so desperately wanted to loose herself with him. If she could just diminish the tightening knot in her stomach and calm down she was sure she would feel nothing but his love for her. Lucas was the only person that could make her fall into pools of ecstasy, that could leave her in a state of elated bliss. However, right now she was far from feeling that, his mind was else where and from her perspective, he was only content on reaching his own climax. Tears began to well in her eyes as she looked at the stranger above her. All she needed was for him to look her in the eye, needed him to join their lips, needed him to utter her name, needed him to tell her how much he loved her, how much he needed her. The hot, humid air clung to her, the silk material sticking to her chest and suffocating her. He was nearing the end now, pulling her hips impossibly closer. He was inside her and yet she'd never felt more far away. With a loud groan he fell over the edge, his limbs shaking, his face resting against her heaving chest. She turned her head to the side, trying not to allow a sob to escape. His eyes flickered, trying to gain control of his quivering body. He was completely disorientated. Her sniffling snapped him from his confused state, her soft whimpering from beneath him was deafening. He wearily looked up at her.

'Peyton?' He whispered, hastily pulling out of her. Her grimace didn't go unnoticed, he crawled up the bed beside her. 'I...I...are you...?'

'I'm fine' She sniffled, pushing her night dress down and bringing her legs up to her stomach and curling onto her side. He touched her arm, swallowing back the lump rising in the back of his throat when she pulled away.

'I'm sorry' He whispered desperately, his voice hitching. She turned, looking at him warily. 'I'm sorry'

She shook her head. 'It's ok, I'm ok'

'You-you're crying' He stated, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

'I'm fine'

He nodded wordlessly. 'Shall I go?'

'No' She choked out, turning quickly. 'No don't, I don't want you to go...It's just...'

'What?' He sighed loudly, dropping his head into his hands in frustration.

'Hold me'

'What?'

'I...I need you to hold me' She mumbled almost inaudibly. She held her hand out and he timidly took it, shifting closer to her and laying down. She snaked his hand around her waist and shuffled back against his chest.

'I didn't mean to hurt you' He uttered, his body stiff and uncomfortable with their intimate position.

'You didn't...you just, you scared me...it, it was like it wasn't you' She tried to explain, wiping at her nose. 'Kiss me' His eyes shot up at her quiet mutter. 'Kiss me' She repeated more firmly. He reluctantly lent forward pecking her lips in a chaste kiss. Disappointment left her mouth in the form of a low sigh. 'I love you Luke' She declared helplessly. He looked down. 'Why don't you believe me, why do you keep doubting me' Tears began trailing down her cheeks again.

'I do believe you'

'No you don't. Lucas we just had sex and you didn't look at me once...' She pinched the bridge of her nose. 'I told you to slow down and you didn't, you couldn't hear me...you can't even kiss me...I feel like I'm losing you. Tell me what to do, tell me what you need for me to do to fix this... to fix us'


	11. Chapter 11

Peyton woke stiff and groggy, curled in a foetal position on the edge of the bed, as far away as possible from a sprawled out Lucas. She pressed her small hands into her eyes as the previous nights events flooded her senses, immobilizing her. Much to her dismay, Lucas had simply laid down with his back to her when she'd demanded he tell her what she had to do to fix them. She'd consequently cried herself to sleep. He didn't have the answer, he didn't know what he could tell her to make it all better and in her fragile state she didn't foresee any way out of this nightmare she was currently living in. They were meant to be happy, but she was far from happy.

Peyton pulled back the bed sheets and sat up, her whole body aching as she stood and walked toward the bathroom. Her head was spinning, the effort of standing coinciding with a sudden wave of nausea. She stumbled through the doorway some what urgently, sinking to her bony knees and shuffling forward on the tiles. The bile crept up to the back of her throat and her shaking hands fell to the toilet, desperately trying to steady herself. She swallowed back the inevitable, fighting with every ounce of her. It was no good. Her whole body convulsed violently as she flung her head forward and heaved into the toilet bowl, the dead weight of her golden locks obscuring her vision. Finally, when there was nothing left inside of her, the retching fit slowly subsided with irregular bouts of throwing up a transparent fluid. Her trembling fingers rose, brushing her hair away from her face, her other hand flushing the toilet. She sighed, her eyes flickered closed as she attempted to catch her breath. Her stomach tightened with apprehension, her gaze pensively following her hand trailing over her lower abdomen. A long minute later she forced herself off the cold floor, scrambling to her feet and turning on the shower. As she stripped off, her stare lingered on the glaring bruises circling her wrists and painting her hips. She swallowed thickly, thankful for the invading steam rising and enveloping her, blurring her image as she crept through the glass door and under the cascade of hot water, hoping to forget her worries, if only for a little while.

* * *

An hour later Peyton was sat in her best friends living room. Lucas had still been dead to the world when she'd left her own house. She'd not wanted to wake him. She was well aware that he struggled to sleep these days and after his attack the previous night, she could only assume the more sleep he got, the better.

'Mummy look at me' Isabel chanted, expertly leaping off the sofa. The unexpected night spent at her god mother's had excited her and she was a little hyper to say the least.

Peyton briefly looked up. 'Don't jump on the furniture sweetie' She muttered drearily.

'She's alright' Brooke shook her head, more concerned with what was bothering her best friend. 'What's wrong P. Sawyer?'

'Mummy look'

'Nothing'

'Peyt, come on, talk to me' The brunette coaxed. 'Has something happened with Luke'

Her green eyes glazed over with immediate tears.

'Mummy look' Isabel moaned impatiently, bouncing back and forth in front of her. 'Watch me' She whined.

Peyton sighed, lifting her gaze to watch her roll across the floor in an attempted somersault . 'That's good baby'

'P?' Brooke moved to sit beside her.

'I...'

'Yes?'

'Mummy look' Isabel said in sing song, resigning to skipping round the sofa when she received no response.

'Did he have another attack?'

'No' Peyton shook her head. 'I feel...I feel like I'm being stupid'

'Mummy!?'

'You're not' Brooke cooed, interlocking their hands. 'Talk to me'

'Mumma?!'

'Hush Izzy, Mummy's talking. Play with your toys' Peyton exhaled heavily.

'What's wrong?' Brooke attempted again.

'Everything' She uttered. 'He, last night-'

'Mumma?! Mumma?! Mumma?!' Isabel's chant was becoming progressively annoying and it wasn't long until an exhausted, emotional Peyton snapped.

'For god sake just shut up' She barked angrily, rising to her feet. Isabel's jumping ceased. 'Just shut the hell up' The four year olds bottom lip dropped and her eyes grew wide. 'Urgh' Peyton groaned, storming from the room.

Brooke watched her innocent little god daughter sniffle and real tears begin to roll down her cherrub cheeks. Her motherly intuition immediately came into play. She lifted the small whimpering child into her arms, cradling her tightly. 'It's alright Iz'

'Mu-mummy ha-hates me' She sobbed.

'No, no. Of course she doesn't. You're her baby girl, she loves you. Mummy's just a bit stressed' Brooke reassured her, cupping her face in her smooth palms. 'Look you snuggle up here and' Brooke riffled through the dvd's, smiling at Isabel successfully. 'And you watch Peter Pan' She waved the case at the pouting child. 'Ok?'

'K' She mumbled with a thumb stuck in her mouth.

Brooke expertly put the film on, smiling sadly at the little girl before hesitantly leaving and wandering into her spacious kitchen. 'Peyt?' She rubbed her back as she joined her at the glass table.

'God I'm such a bad mum' Was Peyton's muffled reply.

'No' Brooke shook her head. 'Everyone snaps at their kids from time to time. You're a great mum' Peyton furrowed her brow and gave her a sceptical look. 'Really' Brooke insisted. 'Your only downfall is that you constantly doubt yourself'

'Did you see her face? Haley would never have yelled at Jamie like that and I-'

'Stop comparing yourself to Hales. Seriously if I'm half the mum you are one day I'll be happy-'

'Brooke-'

'You're perfect. Believe that. She'll have forgotten about it in an hour.'

Peyton nodded insecurely, touched by her friend's sincerity, unaware of Brooke's concerned gaze.

'Peyton?'

'Yeah?'

'What happened to your wrists?' Brooke questioned carefully, reaching out to take a hold of her hands, inspecting the evident wounds more carefully. Peyton's green eyes darted to her arms, conscientiously tugging the material of her long sleeved shirt down. 'Nothing'

'It doesn't look like nothing...did he do that?' Peyton twisted her wedding ring around her finger, staring at it absentmindedly. 'Peyton?' Brooke insisted.

She abruptly stood, she was less than eager to reveal the cause of her bruised wrists. She took a shaky breath, her gaze involuntarily falling on the mirror hanging above the mantel piece. A lump formed in her throat as she looked at herself, noticing for the first time, the blatant weight loss. Her hips and ribs protruded prominently through her thin t-shirt making her look anything but healthy. Her normal radiant blonde locks, hung listlessly. Her pale complexion only accentuating the purple sinkholes surrounding her wide ghostly eyes. 'God' She exclaimed loudly. Brooke immediately rose.

'Sweetie' She cooed, watching helplessly as Peyton crumbled onto her knees, her head buried in her shaking hands. 'Peyt' Brooke quickly joined her on the floor, an arm draped around her.

'Is it me?' She choked. 'It's me'

'What?'

'I-I've changed. Haven't I? Am I not the person he wants anymore Brooke?'

'Did he hurt you?'

'Maybe it's, maybe it's just me'

'What? No. Peyt no, of course it's not you. Answer me. Did he hurt you?'

'No' She shook her head adamantly. 'He just, he scared me'

'He needs serious help.'

'What if I've made him like this, what if I-'

'You've done nothing'

'God Brooke, he held me down and I just, I felt' She paused, covering her eyes with her hand. 'For a second I felt like it was, like he was psycho Derek, Ian...I ' a sob escaped her quivering lips. Brooke attempted to hug her but she shrugged her off, shaking her head furiously. 'How can I even think that?'

'Because he scared you, because he hurt you'

'He didn't hurt me'

'Sometimes the people we love can still hurt us Peyt. Lucas didn't mean to, he didn't intend to, he's not well' Peyton looked at her accusingly, ready to defend her husband in every sense. 'I've been looking stuff up on the Internet about people suffering from post traumatic stress-'

'He's not got a problem'

'I know you want to believe that honey, but everything points to this. It's not you that's the problem P. Sawyer. He needs help dealing with what happened while he was away'

Peyton was silent for a long time before she spoke again. 'I was sick for the fifth morning in a row today' The weary blonde announced out of no where. Brooke's hazel eyes narrowed, patiently waiting for her to elaborate and clarify the wild thoughts that were currently running through her mind. 'I think I'm pregnant.'

Brooke gulped audibly, sensing that perhaps she wasn't all too pleased 'That's great...right?'

'Not now, not right now. It's not great' Peyton choked out. 'This can't be happening'

'Have you taken a test?'

'No' Peyton sighed. 'I know though, I just know I am. I feel just like I did with Izzy' She muttered indifferently. Her innate maternal instinct together with the morning sickness she was already suffering was proof enough in her eyes. 'What am I meant to do?'

'You always said you wanted at least one more child' Brooke said gently, subtly trying to get her to see that this was a good thing. Maybe it wasn't great timing but maybe this is what they needed. What they both needed.

'We haven't even talked about it' Peyton whispered. 'And I...Isabel's just gotten used to the fact that Luke lives with us that he's her dad and that doesn't mean she's exactly thrilled about it, she's still getting used to the fact that she's got to share me and now I'm going to throw a baby into the mix too? This is the last thing she needs. I don't want to turn her world upside down Brooke, not again. She needs stability and-'

'P. Sawyer' Brooke placed her hands on her skinny shoulders. 'Isabel will adjust' She said confidently. 'I'm sure she'll love a little sibling. What do _you _want?'

'Me?' Peyton looked confused. She'd not even considered what she wanted, she was too busy thinking about everyone else around her. 'I-I just want to be happy, for Luke to be happy'

'You need to tell him'

Peyton bit her lip and nodded slightly. That's what she was scared of, she was unsure of how Lucas would react to this unexpected news and wasn't looking forward to finding out.


	12. Chapter 12

Peyton Scott was in turmoil. The heartache and frustration she was currently feeling was evident in the way she gripped the wooden spoon, her knuckles white as she furiously stirred the mixture of flour, sugar and eggs. She stood, her shoulders rigid, her forehead creased and her pretty face that of a perfect glower. She'd not left the kitchen since her arriving back home with a miserable Isabel. After setting the child up in the living room to watch a film she'd decided she was going to make dinner and dessert, even if it killed her. Without realising, she was trying to impress Lucas yet again. In his absence she'd been forced to learn some basic recipes to provide Isabel with a healthy diet but it was still no secret that she wasn't exactly a pro when it came to cooking. It had always been something that he'd teased her about and consequently insisted he take care of dinner but now she unconsciously felt as though it were just another flaw to add to the ongoing list.

'Peyton' She jumped, spinning around to face him.

'Y.y.yes?' She stuttered, swallowing thickly.

'I' He took a few steps into the kitchen, his gaze dancing around the counter tops that were covered in cooking utensils and ingredients, in all honesty it was a complete mess. His stare slowly returned to her, eying the flour on her cheek, his eyes unintentionally narrowing coldly, causing her to immediately feel like she was being judged. She looked down unsuccessfully. Her efforts in preparing a pleasant meal to boost her self esteem and her attempts in resembling some normality of family life failing miserably yet again. 'Er...you, your cooking' He stated in confusion.

'Yes' She answered quietly.

He nodded silently. 'Where were you earlier?'

'I-I went to get Izzy. Brooke came and got her from the hospital last night because I didn't know how long we'd be waiting around and it was really late and she just needed her bed so I just thought it would be easier all round' She rambled nervously. 'I'm sorry' She quickly added, watching his brow crease. 'I know you're upset with Brooke but I really think you misunderstood. She's not trying to split us up Lucas, she's my best friend and she's just worried about us'

He stood awkwardly. He didn't want her seeing Brooke Davis, she was a potential threat to their family. When she looked at him, he was certain she could see the deluded thoughts that crossed his mind, that she could see the darkness that was slowly devouring him. Peyton's love for him made any prospect of him being mentally unstable, completely inconceivable 'I don't want you or Isabel near her ok?' His voice was calm yet demanding. She opened and closed her mouth, searching for the right thing to say. Instead she opted for completely changing the subject. She brushed the back of her mucky hand over her forehead.

'Luke I...I need to tell you something' She blurted uneasily.

'Ok. What is it?'

'Why don't you sit?' She suggested nervously, wiping the remnants of cake mixture off of her hands using her apron before pulling out a chair for him.

'I'm fine'

'Please sit' She pleaded. He reluctantly sunk onto the kitchen chair and she released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She felt somewhat relieved and less vulnerable with him seated. 'There, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a couple of days now' He stared at her blankly.

'Well?' He prompted impatiently.

'Lucas I- I'm...'

'Yes?'

'I think I'm' She sighed.

'You think what?'

'I think I'm pregnant'

His jaw dropped and at any other time Peyton would have found herself laughing at his dumbstruck expression, but not now. His silence was doing nothing for her jittering nerves. 'You're what?' He finally mustered, standing suddenly. She instinctively took a wary step backward.

'We're going to have another baby' She whispered nervously.

'I...how?'

She wasn't sure of how to respond to his question. 'Well-'

'We've only slept together twice since I've been back and that's including last night-'

'It only takes once'

'You're on the pill' He argued.

'I-I' She stuttered. 'I came off it when you went away, I-I didn't see the point-'

'The point? The point is that you don't get pregnant. Why didn't you tell me you weren't taking anything? Don't you think I should have a say in whether or not I even want another kid'

'Lucas' She exclaimed, her huge eyes welling with unwanted tears. 'Please, I was just so caught up with you being back it didn't, it didn't even cross my mind. I didn't think-'

'That much is clear' He muttered furiously.

She sniffled, unable to hold back the tears any longer. 'Y-you always said you wanted three kids and a dog and-'

'Is it even mine?'

'Excuse me?'

'You heard'

'For God sake Lucas' She shook her head in annoyance. 'When are you going to get it through your thick skull that-'

'Don't speak to me like that' He fumed, abruptly turning and swiping the food she'd been painstakingly preparing for the last couple of hours off of the table with a loud clatter that sent an icy chill up the petrified blonde's spine. Peyton warily pressed herself against the wall, her green eyes wide and glistening with tears. She was scared. Scared of him. She gasped loudly when he spun around, throwing his fist into the wall with a crazed expression. She hated feeling scared, she despised the sudden loss of control it signified. After being attacked in high school she'd been consumed with fear. Her brother, her real brother had taught her to be strong, to fight back, and most importantly he'd taught her to trust her instincts. It hadn't been easy but with Derek's help she'd seen light at the end of the tunnel and she swore she'd never let herself be in that position again. She watched Lucas as he pummeled his fists dementedly into the hard surface and in a second felt that fear that she'd battled long ago. Memories flooded her and a wave of nausea hit her. She didn't dare to move from her spot in case he turned his aggression on her 'For fuck sake' He growled. Peyton disregarded the sudden stab of panic and forced herself to stop crying, in case she'd need to defend herself. He eventually took a shuddering breath, trying to control his anger before crumbling to the floor in exhaustion. He lent back against the wall and exhaled, panting heavily.

'Mummy' Both green and blue eyes darted to the small child standing in the doorway.

'Oh god' Peyton mumbled, horrified by her daughters' terrified expression. 'Baby go upstairs'

'Mumma' Isabels' bottom lip dropped and she shook her head stubbornly.

'Baby go upstairs' Peyton pleaded, edging over to her.

'Mummy you're cryin' Isabel's own blue orbs began to fill with large tear drops.

'It's alright- go on'

'But-'

'Baby please' Peyton whimpered, glancing over her shoulder to check Lucas was still seated on the floor a good distance away. 'I'll come up in a minute ok?'

'Promise?'

'Promise'

Lucas watched her desperately convincing the four year old to leave and knew it was because she was scared, scared that he'd end up hurting the defenseless child. He felt sick at the thought. After much coaxing and a reassuring kiss Isabel ventured off down the hallway as told and her small foot steps could be heard ascending the staircase

'I'd never hurt her' Peyton's head jolted toward him, her eyes sceptical. 'I'd never hurt her'

'But you'd hurt me right?' She was suddenly angry, angry with him and angry with herself. She hastily tried to untie her apron but was having difficulty.

'No of course no-' He trailed off when she finally managed to pull the material over her head and throw it onto the sideboard. His gaze instantly fell to the strip of skin now on show above her jeans and the bruises that painted her hips and wrists 'Did-Did I do that?' He stuttered.

'It's-It's fine' She shook her head with a low sigh.

'It's not fine'

She pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, trying to prevent a sob from escaping her lips. She so desperately wanted it to all be fine.

'Come here' She sucked in a breath, eying him cautiously. 'Come here, I'm not going to hurt you' It broke his heart to watch her approach him so gingerly. He held his hands out and guided her down onto his lap. 'I'm sorry'

'It's ok' She muttered croakily. His touch was surprisingly gentle when he bought her hands to his mouth, pressing soft kisses to the fingerprints marking her wrists.

'I-I'm sorry' He mumbled with difficulty. 'I didn't mean to-'

'I know that' She nodded, curling herself around him and sobbing into his chest.

'I'm sorry'

'I don't know who you are any-anymore' She closed her eyes tightly. 'Luke you...I've never felt scared of you before' She breathed. 'But recently, I-I am and I-I d-don't l-like it' She paused, hesitantly pulling her hands back to wipe futilely at the constant tears currently making tracks on her pale skin. 'I-I don't know what you want me to-to do. I've- I've been telling myself things are going to get better, that you just need time but then' She took a shaky breath. 'I started thinking perhaps it's me, not you. Perhaps you don't want me any more. You wanted to leave, you wanted to leave me when you got home and I-I refused to listen, I insisted you stay but now, now I'm' She swallowed and bit her lip, attempting to compose herself and swallow back the lump in her throat. 'Now I'm pregnant I need to know if you still want to have a life with me and our-our children?' He stared at her expressionlessly. 'Ok' She whispered despairingly after a long couple of minutes.

'Peyton-'

'No it's fine' She rose off of him, shoving his hands off of her and stumbling away from him.

'Peyt-'

'I get it' She dismissed sharply. She didn't want to listen to an explanation. He didn't want her. He didn't want Isabel and he didn't want their unborn child, that's all she needed to know.

He dropped his head into his hands letting out a cry of frustration as she disappeared from the room. She didn't understand how he felt. He desperately wanted to go back to a time where everything was perfect with them but things were different now and he was afraid he'd never be that Lucas again, he couldn't seem to pull himself out of this dark hole. His mind was forever consumed with nightmares and flashbacks and the thought of bringing such another innocent life into such a cruel world made him feel sick. And he sure as hell didn't want any child to have him as a father, he'd corrupt it, like he was corrupting everything else around him. Isabel deserved better. He pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes, attempting to stop the tears that were leaking. He could hear Peyton upstairs, clattering around and her wavering voice telling their daughter to choose a couple of favourite toys. She was leaving. He'd known this day would come, it had only been a matter of time before she came to her senses. She was leaving but he was unsure if he could physically let her go. He wanted her within his sight, he wanted, needed to keep a watchful eye over her. She belonged to him. Tears of despair and betrayal escaped, making a path down his cheeks. She belonged to him. His misconstrued mind began to quickly break down as it often did these days, negating any rationality, the dangerous power the pain held over him, numbing his whole body. He let out an exasperated breath, concentrating on breathing. He didn't know how much time had past but the sound of the front door opening, startled him from his daze. He forced himself off of the ground, walking with heavy steps out into the hallway to the wide open door.

'Isabel just get in the car baby ok?' Peyton pleaded, struggling to heave a case into the vehicle.

'Mumma where are we going?'

'Peyton don't go. You can't go' Lucas strode down the small path. 'You can't'

'Don't Lucas. I think you've said enough, you've made your feelings pretty clear' She mumbled, slamming the boot of the car. 'Izzy get in the car'

'But mummy I don't wanna go-'

'Now'

'This is our home, you belong here' Lucas reprimanded.

'I can't stay here when you, you don't love us. Izzy. Car. Now'

'I-I do' Lucas stuttered.

'You do? Luke you really hurt me and I can't be around that, I won't' She forcefully lifted a whimpering Isabel into the car, hurriedly strapping her in and shutting the door.

'I'm sorry. I do though, I-'

'Tell me then Lucas. Tell me' She demanded, spinning around to face him, her eyes blood shot and her hair a tangled mess. 'Tell me you love me no matter what. That you love our little girl more than anything, that you'll love this baby no matter what, that you can't imagine life without any of us. Say it' She waited for a long hopeful minute. 'Say it Luke and I'll stay' She whispered pleadingly.

He opened and closed his mouth, unable to verbalise what she wanted to hear. 'Where-where are you going?' He asked instead, his voice quivering.

'I don't really think that's your concern anymore' She brushed past him.

'Peyton-'

'Goodbye Luke' She cut him off, clambering into the drivers seat.

'Peyton' He put his hand on the door, trying to open it again but she quickly locked it. He slammed the window in frustration. 'Where are you going?'

She didn't respond, her shaking hands quickly starting the engine and pulling out into the road. 'Goodbye Luke'


	13. Chapter 13

Isabel's hysterical crying had not subsided despite Peyton's great efforts to calm her down. Her composure was quickly crumbling; after the last few hours she hadn't been left in the most patient of moods. 'Shut up Isabel' She finally shouted, blinking back tears as she focused on driving them safely through the rows of houses.

'I want to go home' Isabel screeched defiantly as she had been for the last ten minutes. She was scared and confused as to what was happening and hadn't been willing to listen to her mother's reassuring words, instead taking up screaming her lungs out to convey her displeasure of their little road trip. Any other time she would've been jumping for joy at the prospect of going to her Aunt Brooke's huge house with all it's flashy gadgets but not now. She'd witnessed her father's violent behaviour and was terrified to say the least and was then told they were leaving. Peyton had ordered her to choose a few favourite toys as she frantically threw her daughters clothes into a suitcase and then the innocent child was dragged from the place she called home and put in the car.

Peyton frowned, her new tactic of ignoring the infant in the hope that she'd be quiet wasn't proving all that successful.

'Mu-mumma...mumma...I-I don't wann-wanna go' Isabel continued to sob, her cherub cheeks now flushed red. She'd kicked the soles of her shoes against the back of her mothers chair when she was given no response, her cries becoming louder by the second. Peyton had never been more relieved to see Brooke Davis' house, pulling into the drive and getting out hastily. She'd made it in one piece. She sighed inwardly, avoiding the judging eyes of elderly passerby's as they turned their nose's up at the tantrum Isabel was having. Peyton did her best to take no notice but their comments on how young mothers couldn't control their kids these days was enough to make her want to scream. She flung the car door open.

'Come on, stop crying baby' She cooed. 'You're going to make yourself sick' Peyton brushed her blonde curls away from her sticky forehead. 'I'm sorry I shouted at you' She said desperately.

'I wanna-I wanna-g-g-go home'

'Well we can't right now. Don't you want to see Brooke?' She tempted the stubborn four year old.

'N-n-no'

'Come on, she wants to see you'

'N-no...I hate you'

Peyton gritted her teeth, infuriated by Isabel's uncooperative behaviour. 'Fine' She snapped. Everything was suddenly too much for her to handle. Her husband didn't want her. She was pregnant with an unplanned child and her four year old daughter hated her. 'You can just stay right there then' She barked, slamming the door in frustration.

'P?' Peyton spun around, trying to block out the loud shrieks of an outraged Isabel. Brooke took one look at the emotional wreck before her, fear shining in her hazel eyes. 'What's happened?'

'I've left him' Peyton whispered, moving to walk past her best friend, eager to lock herself away in the comfort of her friends home. 'And she won't stop crying and I just...I can't do this' She stormed up the pathway, trying to conceal her relentless tears. Brooke fort the urge to run after her, turning her attention to the child currently slamming her little hands against the window. She moved quickly, opening the door.

'Hey pretty girl. What's all that noise for?'

'I-I-I do-don't want to leave. I-I like m-my house' She gasped, sniffling. 'I ha-hate Mummy'

'No you don't. It's just for a little while kido. It's not forever.'

'B-but I-I don't wanna'

'I know. But sweetie Mummy's really exhausted, you think you can try and be a good girl for her and try and be brave?' Isabel stuck her quivering bottom lip out. 'Come on, let's go inside and have some milk and cookies' Brooke gently unstrapped her seat belt, lifting her sweaty form off the booster seat and into her protective arms.

'Does my Mummy n-not love me no-no more?' Isabel mumbled into the brunettes shoulder as she was carried up the steps to the beach house.

'What? Of course she does darling'

'M-my D-daddy doesn't, doesn't l-love my mummy no more'

'Yes he does Izzy. Mummy and Daddy just need some time apart. People say things they don't mean when they're angry and confused. Your Mummy and Daddy both love you more than anything, they just need some space right now.'

Figuring the young expectant mother needed some time alone, she carried Isabel through to the kitchen and sat her at the table. 'Lets get you a tissue for that runny nose of yours' Brooke smiled, gabbing a tissue and holding it over her button nose. 'Blow' She instructed, her free hand threading through her god daughter's tangled mess of hair. 'There we are, no more tears ok? I don't like seeing my favourite girl so upset' She kissed Isabel's forehead. 'You want some milk and cookies now?'

'Y-yes please' Isabel nodded, with a small weary smile, her voice still shaky after all her crying.

'Oki dokie' Brooke said brightly. She grabbed her phone, dialing a well memorized number as she opened her cupboard door, retrieving the plastic fairy cup that Isabel always used and pouring her a glass of cold milk. 'Hales?' She spoke into the phone, hunching her shoulder to hold it in place as she juggled a plate of cookies and Isabel's glass, setting it down on the counter before the child. 'I'm not too bad...Listen do you think you could come round here. I need some help...No, it's Peyton...yeah...Ok I'll see you in a bit' Brooke ended the conversation, smiling reassuringly at a wary Isabel. 'You hear that? Your aunt Haley's going to come round with Uncle Nate'

'And Jamie?' She asked hopefully.

Brooke modded with a smile 'And Jamie'

* * *

'What's going on?' Haley demanded, briskly walking into her friends kitchen as Nathan set Jamie down.

'Hey' Brooke greeted, rising from her chair with a forced smile. 'Hey J-Luke, Izzy's in the garden playing basket ball, why don't you go show her some of your moves' Brooke chirped, ruffling the little boys dirty blonde hair.

'Can I Mumma?'

'Sure'

'Sweet' The five year old raced off.

'Brooke?' Nathan urged.

'It's Peyton'

'I got that much on the phone' Haley muttered impatiently.

'I don't know how to help her. Don't be mad at me'

'Why would we be mad at you Brooke?' Nathan's eyes were stern.

'I may have left you guys in the dark about some stuff and I know for sure Peyton won't have told you, seeing as she won't even freaking speak to me'

'What's going on?'

'Lucas, he had a panic attack last night-'

'Oh my god, is he alright?' Haley exclaimed.

'He's ok. Well he's not ok. He's losing it. She's a mess. He keeps accusing her of all sorts of things and I really think he hurt her the other night, not that she's going to admit it.' Brooke rambled. 'And I, I really think he needs help.'

'Where's Peyton?' Nathan sighed, he didn't know why but he wasn't at all surprised. His own brother had attempted to punch him for touching the curly haired blonde, then and there he'd been fearful that Lucas' time at war had left him detached and emotionally wounded in more ways than one.

'She, she's upstairs'

'I'll talk to her-'

'I don't think that's a good idea Nate. She, she came here earlier in a right mess, she says she's left him'

'Left him?' Haley cried. 'She can't. He needs her' She claimed defensively. 'Are you sure you aren't over reacting, I mean it's going to take some time for him to get his head together-'

'Hales' Nathan rubbed her back. 'This is more than that.'

'Did I also mention that she, she's pregnant?' Brooke sighed. 'She won't tell me what happened, but I was with her this morning, she said she was going to tell him and then she turns up five hours later declaring it's over between them. I can only assume his reaction wasn't all that great.

'She's pregnant?' Haley mumbled.

Brooke was about to respond when a knock sounded at the door. 'Yeah...Hang on, let me just get that' She wandered out of the kitchen, opening the door without a thought, more than surprised to find Lucas Scott on the other side. 'Luke' She muttered nervously.

'I want to see Peyton. Is she here?' The brunette screwed her nose up as he spoke, the strong smell of spirits hitting her senses.

'What?' She placed her hand on her hip, her brow furrowing, doing her utmost to feign innocence.

'Peyton's car's outside. Is she here?' He demanded, stomping forward on unsteady legs.

'She lives with you, not me'

He shook his head in irritation. 'You know what, don't worry. I'll look myself' He muttered barging past her.

'Lucas' Brooke exclaimed. 'You can't just come in here'

'Is she here?'

'No'

'You won't mind me looking then will you?' He responded sardonically. 'Peyton? Peyton?!'

'She's not here Lucas. I want you to leave' Brooke hissed, following him round the house as he flung the doors open, searching for his wife. He halted when he came into the kitchen to find Haley and Nathan. His eyes darted suspiciously from them both to Brooke before he chuckled.

'I see, you're all fucking in on this. You're all conspiring against me'

'That's not how it is Luke' Haley said gently, desperately trying to get through to him. She was sure everyone was overreacting. Lucas wasn't mad.

'You- you're meant to be my best friend and you, you're my brother'

'And we love you' Nathan nodded. 'But you need to go home man'

'I want to see Peyton'

'She doesn't want to see you Lucas'

'You know this is all your fault' He spun around unexpectedly, pointing a threatening finger at a suddenly nervous Brooke.

'What?' She cried in outrage. 'You're drunk Lucas'

'You've filled her mind with rubbish'

'I'm not the one that makes her feel like she's worthless. I'm not the one that's hurting her Lucas. You are. You need to get help before it's too late and you loose her for good.'

He lurched forward but Nathan quickly intervened. 'Lucas stop it. You need to cool down. Brooke's done nothing wrong'

He gritted his teeth impatiently, her words were like a knife to his heart, he couldn't loose her. 'Just tell me where the hell she is' He pleaded 'Peyton?!' He shouted loudly, his voice echoing through the house. 'Get out here. We're going home'

'Luke she's not here. I think you should go.'

'Brooke please' His angry tone broke into a whimper. 'Please.'

'Lucas you've been drinking. I suggest you go home and sleep it off. Peyton won't want to see you like this'

'Let me drive you home' Nathan sighed, putting a supportive hand on his back.

'I just want to see her'

'I know you do, but now is not the time'

'Aunt Ha...' Isabel trailed off as she noticed her father, instantly backing up. She didn't know the full extent of what was going on, but after this morning she'd concluded that her father wasn't to be trusted.

'Isabel' He approached her, kneeling on the floor. She sucked on her bottom lip, her small hands curling around Haley's leg. 'Come on, I'm taking you home'

'Luke' Haley sighed, lifting the little girl protectively into her arms. 'That's not a good idea.'

'She's my fucking daughter Haley' He spat, anger building in his blue eyes once again.

'Lucas' Haley hissed in disbelief, she didn't know when it had happened but the man before her was suddenly unrecognisable. 'You need to go'

'I'm not leaving without them, I want to know where she's going to go.' He made a grab for Isabel's arm.

'Mummmy!' Isabel's loud shriek startled everyone in the kitchen. Lucas' fingers instantly recoiled and Haley took a wary step backward.

Peyton felt like a block of ice as she hesitantly entered her friend's kitchen, her face ghostly white as she took in the room of people.

'Peyton' Lucas' voice washed over her, numbing her. It took her a few moments to react. Avoiding every ones eyes, she crossed the tiled floor, taking her frightened daughter from Haley's arms and turning without a word, pausing briefly in front of her husband.

'Just stay the hell away from us' She rasped, her throat sore from the tears she'd shed.

He grabbed her forearm 'I'm sorry for everything I've said Peyt-'

'Let. Go. Of. Me'

He did as ordered, slowly releasing her arm. Tears of despair creeping into the corner of his eyes as he watched her exit.

Nathan slowly approached him, patting his back reassuringly 'Luke, come on. I'll take you home'

* * *

It had been a few hours since Lucas had been there, in her house and Brooke was unsettled by his appearance. Haley and Jamie had left shortly after Nathan and Lucas, leaving Brooke to care for her broken friend. She'd found her in the guest room, her arms cocooning Isabel, both sleeping.

Isabel had appeared a while later and Brooke had set about making them all some food, hoping to give her some sence of normality after her day.

'Hey sweetie' Brooke said softly when Peyton immerged.

'Hi mumma'

'Hey sweetie' Peyton squezzed her daughters hand, watching Brooke encourage her to finish her fish and new potatoes that were currently being pushed around the plate by the four year old.

'How're you feeling P?'

'Alright' She forced a brave smile.

'Yeah? Here-' Brooke rose from her place at the table and went to the oven, retrieving another plate that was being kept warm. 'You should eat'

'I'm not hungry...' She trailed off at the glare her best friend was giving her. 'I suppose I could try and eat something' She muttered in defeat, sinking down beside her daughter. She closed her eyes and put the fork in her mouth. Each time she was forced to chew, the bile crept up to the back of her throat. 'Brooke I'm so sorry about all of this' She exhaled heavily, resorting to picking at her food as Isabel was.

'Don't you dare apologise'

'Can I get down now Mumma?' Isabel asked hopefully, watching as Peyton inspected the amount of food left on her plate. 'I wanna watch Finding Nemo'

'One more potato'

Isabel stabbed her fork into the smallest spud she could find and stuffed it into her little mouth, chewing quickly. 'Now?'

'Go on then' Peyton sighed. 'What do you say to Brooke?'

'Thank you' She hollered over her shoulder, dashing off to watch TV on Brooke's large screen.

'I should never have come here'

'Don't be stupid, you know I'd do anything for you. You stay here as long as you need sweetie'

'I didn't want to drag you into this. I'm going to leave in the morning. I just needed somewhere to stay for the night'

'Peyt seriously, you don't have to go, you can stay here.'

'I can't, he's only going to keep coming round...I spoke to my dad a few hours ago. He said me and Izzy can go stay with him, just till I get myself sorted and decide where' She abruptly stopped, her voice breaking into a loud sob.

'Oh P' Brooke cooed, scrambling from her chair and pulling her into a tight embrace.

'What am I meant to do?' She whimpered. 'My life's here. You're here, Hales and Nate are here. My jobs here'

'This place is still going to be here honey. Maybe you should go stay with your dad for a while. You'll have some time to collect your thoughts and you'll be able to relax'

'What about Luke?'

'What about him?'

'He's my husband Brooke and he, he's hurting, I can't leave him like this'

'Yes you can. You have to. Like you said, Me, Haley and Nate are all here, we can take care of him. You need to look after yourself right now. You're pregnant. You have Izzy to think about'

Peyton sniffled and nodded. 'I don't want to do this by myself'

'You're not by yourself. I'm right here. I'll come visit you whenever I can and I'll be just a phone call away and your dad will be with you'

'Yeah' She wiped at her swollen eyes.

'It wouldn't be forever, just give yourself a break'

'A break' She repeated dazedly '...Leave Tree Hill'

Brooke nodded assertively, deciding this was exactly what Peyton needed- time away from her husband, time to make him realise what he was loosing, what he had, what he needed and time for her to get her head together, to both mentally and emotionally prepare for her unborn child, to prepare herself for life without Lucas Scott.


	14. Chapter 14

'Grandpa!' Isabel threw her arms around Larry's waist before he'd even managed to fully open the door.

'How's my favourite grand daughter?' He chuckled, bending over to kiss her head of golden curls.

'I'm your only grand daughter Grandpa!' Isabel gleamed.

'And my favourite' Larry winked. 'Look how much you've grown.' He exclaimed, taking her all in. 'You look just like your mum did when she was your age'

'Mumma say's I'm gonna be tall'

'I think she's right.' He smiled.

'Where's Barney?' She widened her eyes in excitement at the prospect of seeing her furry friend.

'He's in the garden, probably digging up my lawn. Want to go find him and check his behaving for me? It's nearly his dinner time, you can help me feed him if you want?'

'Can I mumma?'

'Ok'

The two adults watched as the little girl raced from the room as fast as her little legs would allow her, eager to find the loving animal that she'd doted on since she'd been old enough to walk. Larry diverted his gaze to his daughter, eying her with concern.

'Hi sweetheart' He greeted softly, opening his arms to her, giving her a brief embrace. 'How was your flight?'

'Ok'

'Good.' He smiled awkwardly. 'So you wanna tell me why I suddenly get a visit after six years of only seeing you during the Christmas holidays?' He questioned sceptically, desperate to know the true purpose of her surprise visit.

'Isabel wanted to see her Grandpa'

'Darling, you sounded a wreck on the phone' He argued.

'I just wanted to come visit' The sudden hand on her arm and his soothing eyes made her break in an instant. As much as she despised it, he'd always be the only person that could break down her walls with a single look. 'Lucas and I are having problems' She blurted, immediately regretting her honesty at Larry's expression. She could tell he'd already derived his own story on what had happened. 'We, we just need some space' She added.

'Peyton' He sighed. 'You've had two years of space.' He rubbed a hand over his forehead in exasperation.

'It's different' She turned away from his stare. 'He's been through a lot, it's going to take time.'

'When are you going to wake up and realise you deserve better'

'Don't say that. I love him' She folded her arms guardedly.

'What aren't you telling me?'

'Nothing' He watched her staring idely at a picture of Anna Sawyer on the mantel shelf, her back hunched.

'Peyton you're my baby girl, I know when you're hiding something from me' She kept her lips firmly glued together, her index finger reaching out to trace the outline of her mother's beautiful face. 'Peyton?' He urged.

She took a shaky breath 'I'm...I'm pregnant' She muttered nervously.

'What?'

'Pregnant, I'm pregnant' She bravely turned to face him.

'What?' His tone was displeased, immediately making the twenty five year old tense.

'I'm pregnant' She repeated.

He turned away from her. 'Peyton-'

'Don't say my name like that'

'I just...you were barely twenty one when you had Isabel, you had your whole life ahead of you. You had the rest of your life to settle down and have children, I wanted you to see the world, to get a head start with your career'

'I wasn't a kid dad-'

'Are you telling me she was planned?'

'You know she wasn't' Peyton snapped. 'I don't regret having her, not for a second. She's my world.'

'I don't want you to be on your own with two children Peyton'

'I'm not-'

'Lucas left you, he left you with a two year old little girl and now he's turned his back on you again. I don't think I'll ever understand why you waited for him-'

'Because I love him' She cried indignantly.

'I know you do darling but you gave away your heart to a teenage boy, are you sure he loves you as much as you say you do him?' Peyton closed her eyes. 'And now he's left you again?' Larry added fuel to the already burning fire in the pitt of her stomach.

'No' She snapped. 'I left him'

'Darling' His brow creased in confusion.

'I just, things have been difficult lately and...and I just think it's best if we're apart'

'Does he know about the baby'

'Of course he does'

'And he was pleased?'

'I don't know, but-'

'Peyton when has he ever been there for you or Izzy? What kind of father is he?' Her whole body turned rigid. 'These two children are probably better off without him. Maybe you can finally move on with your life, find someone who will look after you-'

'Just stop it' She interrupted. 'Don't you ever, ever criticize Lucas' ability as a father' She growled.

Larry sighed. 'Darling he left you with a two year old child-'

Peyton sniveled, shaking her head, anger bubbling within her green eyes. 'You're one to talk. You were never around. Never. Mum died and I needed you but you pushed me away, you left me' She spat. She couldn't prevent the unmistakable bitterness rising within her. There were days, as she made breakfast for Isabel, when she could remember making herself a sandwich for dinner and putting herself to bed and in an instant she'd be reminded of that terrible loneliness. She could remember so clearly how he'd sat at her ill mothers bedside day in, day out, catering for her every need. She'd watched from the doorway, astounded by the love her parents shared. She'd believed in that love, her beautiful innocence had led her to believe that love could conquer all. She'd been deceived.

Peyton gripped her head, pain suddenly flooded her as she was blinded from past memories. Her tormented childhood dominating her mind. It had all been a lie. 'You never loved me' She verbalised the one thought that had terrorised her since the age of nine. Larry's eyes widened, tears of remorse blurring his vision. 'Lucas might not have been there. He might not be with us right now but I know...I know in my heart that if I died, he would be there for Izzy' She had to believe that. Despite everything that had happened in the recent weeks, regardless of everything he said, she still believed in her husband's overwhelming ability to love. As a child to have suddenly gone from being the centre of her father's universe to being the last thing on his mind was confusing and heart breaking to say the least, for the first couple of months she'd struggled to come to terms with her mother's disappearance. She'd lost both her parents. Her father's sudden departure for a job out with a dredging company had left her distraught. There were times when she'd pretended she was ill, so much so that she'd convinced herself she really was unwell. But still her father didn't come home. Instead she was left with Mrs McCullen from across the road, trying to care for the broken little girl. 'You never loved me. Lucas showed me what love is. So don't you dare. Don't you dare question his right as parent' Her voice was teetering on the edge, her eyes wide and brimming with hurt. Larry's mouth dropped, stunned into silence by her venomous tone.

'Grandpa I gots Barney' The back door creaked open as Isabel skipped in, followed by the excited golden retriever, his tail wagging furiously as he noticed yet another person to greet. Peyton obliged to his nose rubbing against her leg, stroking him affectionately 'He's real happy to see me' Isabel informed them both, patting his head, oblivious to the tension in the room. Peyton looked at her little girl, taken aback by the wide smile painting her little lips. She'd not seen that smile in a long time.

'He sure is' Larry forced a bright smile. 'Your his best friend. Come on over here then and you can fill his bowl with biscuits'

'Come on Barns, this way' Isabel patted her leg, urging the dog to follow her. 'Dinner Time'

* * *

Nathan groaned inwardly as he walked into Tric, his eyes immediately fixating on Lucas sat at the bar, surrounded by empty beer bottles. He strode through the dancing party goers. 'I've been looking for you everywhere, Haley and Brooke are going out of their minds worrying about you' He snapped impatiently. He was trying to be calm but Lucas wasn't being as cooperative as he'd have liked. 'Lucas what're you doing?'

'What does it look like?' The brooding blonde responded without looking up.

'Don't do this. Believe me this isn't going to help. Don't do this to yourself, to Peyton, to Isabel.' Nathan pleaded.

'Do you see her anywhere?' Lucas seethed. 'She's gone. They're both gone'

'And you think drinking away your sorrows is going to win her back? You need help Lucas'

'I'm not crazy'

'No-'

'Tell me where she is Nathan. I have a right to know. She's my fucking wife'

'Yes but she's not going to be for much longer if you don't get your act together. Let me take you home and then tomorrow I'll take you to go see someone. You can talk to someone. They could help you'

'No Nate. You could help me by telling me where the hell she's gone.' Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. 'Fine' Lucas spat through gritted teeth when it became more than clear that the younger Scott sibling wasn't going to divulge Peyton's whereabouts. 'Just fucking go Nate. You're no longer my brother'

'Luke-'

'Go'

* * *

Peyton hovered in the doorway to the kitchen, watching as Larry cleaned away the rest of dinner. They'd not spoken to each other while they ate, Isabel being the only one to prompt conversation that mostly consisted of Barney the dog. 'Dad?' She gingerly took a step into the room. He placed the last plate back in it's cupboard before turning to face her. 'Dad I'm sorry...I'm sorry about earlier' She blurted. 'I just, I came here to escape and I really don't need you lecturing me. I didn't mean what I said though'

'Yes. Yes you did' He sighed heavily.

'Dad-'

'But you were right. I've been useless and selfish. I'm sorry darling. You have to know that a day hasn't gone by without me loving you' She opened and closed her mouth. 'You know that right?' He asked desperately.

'I know' She whispered a little bewildered.

'It was hard after your mother past away and you're right- I did run away. I did neglect you and you didn't deserve it. I know I've failed you in more ways than one but I'm here for you right now and I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.' He avoided her eyes. 'It wasn't because I didn't love you Peyton, it was because I couldn't look at you without thinking about your mother.' He rambled. 'I know that doesn't justify anything I put you through'

'Dad it's fine. I get it' Peyton mumbled. It had been a tough forty eight hours and she wanted nothing more than to just enjoy being with her family not to rehash her messy childhood.

'It's not fine. I want to make it up to you though...I want you to stay here. I don't want this to be temporary, move to Seattle'

'What?' Her eyes narrowed. 'My life's in Tree Hill. I just need some time to get my head together. I wouldn't dream of bringing up Izzy or this child' She settled her hand on her stomach. 'Anywhere else.' She shook her head.

'I don't want you having to do all this by yourself.' Larry argued.

'I won't be, I have people I love in Tree Hill. Besides regardless of whatever happens with me and Luke I can't, wouldn't ever dream of taking them away from their father'

'Darling if you have so much belief in Lucas why did you find the need to come out here to escape him?' she tensed.

'It's complicated' She trailed her hand over her creased brow, shutting herself off from her father's gaze. 'I better check on Isabel' Larry sighed as he watched her wander from the room. He wondered how different things would've been if his beloved wife hadn't died all those years ago, how different Peyton would be if she'd had a mother's guidance through her teenage years. He could only hope he was wrong in his judgement of Lucas, he could only hope that the two young parents did share the same love he had had with his wife and that he'd see her happy and content in life again.

* * *

Nathan had settled himself in the corner of the bar. He'd not been able to leave. He couldn't leave his own brother here drinking himself to his death. He'd given the pretense that he'd indeed gone but instead had taken up refugee a good distance away. He'd reassured Haley he'd get him home in one piece but at this moment in time, he wasn't all that hopeful that he'd be going anywhere. He grimaced, shaking his head in disgust as he watched Lucas turn to a girl beside him, his intentions obvious by the way his blue eyes crudely drifted down her body. Despised by the thought of him hooking up with anyone, Nathan quickly abandoned his spot, making his way back to the bar.

'I thought I'd told you to leave' Lucas chortled.

'I can't just leave you here. Luke come on, let's get you home' A concerned Nathan insisted. 'Please'

'I don't need you babysitting me'

'That's not what I'm doing'

'That's exactly what you're doing.' He fired back.

'Can you blame me' He sighed in agitation, leaning in closer and hissing into Lucas' ear. 'What're you doing? You're married. Lucas I won't let you do this to Peyton or yourself. You're in love with her' Nathan's eyes stared, unforgiving as they passed judgment upon him, heightening Lucas' current anger.

'She's moved on. Why can't I? She doesn't love me, she's not here' He snapped in irritation, swigging down the last of his drink. 'I'll do what the hell I want Nathan' He slurred, clumsily pushing himself from the stool, turning back to the girl. 'You want to get out of here?'


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N **Thanks for the reviews guys and gals, you lot are awesome. There's a slight time jump in this chapter, but I just wanted to let you all know that I will be addressing what's happened during Lucas and Peyton's time apart during chapters to come! Enjoy.

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* * *

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**6 months later**

'Isabel can you stop running ahead' Peyton said breathily, struggling to hold her hand luggage, pull her case and keep an eye on the restless child.

'Where is he Mummy?'

'I'm not sure, he'll be here in a minute' She sighed, stopping in front of a row of chairs and dropping the overly heavy bag to the floor. 'Izzy, stay here with me' Peyton called. Isabel's curls bounced as she halted, dragging her feet along the floor as she returned to her mother's side.

'I want to see him'

'I know baby and you will. I-I can't carry all of our things any further' She muttered, reluctantly admitting defeat. 'Just try and be patient for a bit longer'

'I've been patience all day' Isabel whined, sinking onto the floor in distress and leaning against Peyton's legs.

'You have' Peyton smiled wearily. They'd had to wait over an hour for their luggage and the four year old hadn't complained once. 'You've been such a good girl all day' She ran a hand over her daughters cheek. 'He'll be here soon' She swallowed, closing her eyes tightly. She'd been nauseous for the duration of the flight and had thrown up upon landing, much to the air hostess' horror.

'Are you okay Mummy?'

'I'm just tired' Peyton nodded. This pregnancy was definitely taking it's toll on her body. She ached all over and hated feeling constantly drowsy.

Isabel stroked her knee, a gesture she'd picked up from her grandpa. She'd watched him try to calm an emotional Peyton on several occasions and the inquisitive child had learned a number of soothing phrases. 'It's alright Mumma, just keep your eyes closed and relax' She drawled. Peyton opened one eye, sneaking a glimpse at her tender daughter and resisting the urge to smirk. 'Oh Mummy he's here' Her soft and consoling voice was gone in a second 'there's Uncle Nate' She sung loudly, scrambling from the floor. 'You stay there I'll gets him' She waggled her finger at Peyton before dashing off 'Uncle Nate!' She gleamed, running as fast as her little legs could carry her, oblivious to anybody in her path.

'Woah' Nathan chuckled, steadying himself as her small body hit him at full speed, her hands wrapping around his legs. 'Hey munchkin' He swung her up into his arms, kissing her forehead.

'I missed you Uncle Nate' She grinned. 'Did you miss me?'

'Of course I missed you' He hugged her tightly. 'Did you have fun at your Grandpa's?'

'It was ok. Mummy's tired' She changed the subject, her face serious.

'I bet she is, she'll feel better once we've got you both home'

'Yep' Her gleeful smile appeared again and she cupped his cheeks. 'Guess what?'

'What?'

'We're getting a baby' She exclaimed.

Nathan feigned ignorance. 'A baby?'

'Uhuh' She bit her lip, blue eyes sparkling.

'You're going to be a big sister?'

'Uhuh'

'Wow aren't you lucky' He threw her into causing squeal of delight to escape her rose bud lips. 'You're going to be the best big sister Izzy.' He said confidently, setting her back on the ground. Her small hand found his larger one and the youngster tugged him back toward Peyton.

'Uncle Nate?'

'Yes?'

'Will I still be your favourite Isabel?'

'Aw sweetie you'll always be my favourite Isabel' He promised, pinching her nose playfully. 'Let's help your mum'

'Mumma look look, it's Uncle Nate' .

'I can see honey. Hey Nate' She smiled, struggling to pull herself out of the chair.

'Wow look at you, you look a lot bigger than you did when we had you up on the webcam' He informed her, holding her arm and helping her to standing.

'Well observed' She mocked 'I'm guessing I'm bound to look bigger considering your computer screen is the size of my head' She snapped condescendingly.

'Wow, sarky as ever. I love you too. Good to have you back Sawyer' He engulfed her in a hug.

'Sorry' She huffed into his chest. 'I'm feeling crap'

'It's alright' He laughed lightly. 'Come on lets get you home'

* * *

Lucas wandered into his sister in-law's kitchen. He'd been living here for a few months now. The therapist had suggested he stay with people close to him. At first it had been difficult but he'd soon become accustomed to his knew surroundings and felt at home. 'Where's Nate?'

Haley tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before hesitantly responding. 'Er he went to collect Peyton and Isabel from the airport'

'Oh right...' He nodded, wringing his hands together. 'Why didn't he tell me he was leaving? I wanted to go with him'

'I don't think that would've been a good idea' Haley said gently, turning to face him. 'She's had a long flight, she's going to be tired and emotional Luke. Give it a couple of days hey?' She suggested.

'Do you think she won't want to see me?'

'Of course she will. You have to give her time'

'I don't know that time will fix us' He muttered uncertainly. 'I screwed up'

'Luke you were unwell. It wasn't your fault. The main thing is that you realised you have a problem and you're getting help. Peyton knows that.'

'What if she can't forgive me'

'She loves you, believe that'

* * *

'Right. Close your eyes' Nathan instructed. 'You too Isabel Scott' The four year old sucked her bottom lip and grinned excitedly before snapping her eyes shut.

'Nathan what's this about?' Peyton inquired with a yawn. She desperately wanted to sit down and put her feet up but he'd been insistent that she needed to come upstairs to see something and now here she was hovering outside the spare bedroom with her eyes closed. Nathan smirked, opening the door.

'Okay, open.'

'Wow' Isabel sung loudly. 'Look Mummy, look' She skipped further into the decorated room, inspecting the recently assembled crib, baby changing unit and toys.

Peyton blinked, stepping into the small room, a small lump forming in the back of her throat as her eyes danced round the newly painted room. 'You didn't have to do this' She whispered.

'I didn't.' Her teary eyes jolted to him. 'Luke did it' He answered the unspoken question, reaching out a hand and rubbing her back soothingly. Her eyes flickered closed and she took a sharp intake of breath.

'He did this?' She questioned hoarsely, overwhelmed by this sudden piece of information.

'He spent hours up here'

The thought of him doing this, creating this sweet haven for their unborn child made her heart clench. The knowledge that he cared filled her with joy; she'd spent the last six months unsure that he even wanted to be apart of her or their children's life. 'How-how is he doing?'

'Better. He's doing a lot better now he's seeing a therapist' Nathan smiled gently. 'He wants to see you Peyton.'

'I-I don't know, I just. I don't know' She ran a hand through her wild hair. 'I just want what's best for Isabel and this baby' Nathan looked down. 'What? You think I should see him?'

'I don't know'

'Yes you do. Tell me? You think I should just fall back into his arms?'

'No. But he's been ill. Post traumatic stress disorder. It wasn't his fault'

'I know' She whimpered. It had taken her a while to come to terms with the diagnosis that Brooke had informed her of several months ago. It had taken her even longer to believe she wasn't at all at fault. Her eyes drifted over a photograph hanging above the crib. It was an image of herself and Lucas with Isabel just before he'd left, before everything fell apart, before her fairy tale ended.

'You want to know what finally made him get help?' She swallowed. 'You Peyton. You're the one that fixed him. He came to senses and realised he couldn't be without you. When you sent those sonograms he just snapped. He saw this little baby and realised he needed to help himself to get you back, all three of you.' A tear raced down her cheek. 'You can get past this. He loves you Peyton.'

* * *

Lucas stood on the river court. He'd been coming down here more frequently lately. Sometimes on his own, sometimes to watch Nathan shoot some hoops. He was yet to pick up a ball, but he was slowly starting to fall in love with the place he'd considered his private refuge at the age of seventeen.

He bit his lip. It had been three days since Peyton had arrived home. Three days in which he'd been pacing his brother's house, itching to see her. Haley had promised she'd come round and as always his best friend had been right.

He did a double take as her figure approached him from across the court. His heart echoed loudly in his ears. She looked so different. Aside from her obvious rounded stomach, her hair was longer and appeared more curly, her face was fuller and her cheeks glowing a healthy pink. It suddenly struck him how very ill she'd looked before leaving.

'Hey' She greeted softly.

'Hi' He shoved his hands in his pockets.

'Nate said you wanted to see me' She watched him fidget, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He was nervous and so very different from the former man she'd been living with six months ago. His whole body seemed less tense, his shoulders relaxed and no longer hunched up and most importantly, his eyes were no longer dominated by darkness.

'Yeah...You..I...look at you' He stared at her small baby bump. 'Hales said you were getting big'

'Not big enough. The doctors say the baby's not growing at a normal rate, apparently I'm not eating enough and keep getting too stressed'

He swallowed. 'I'm sorry' He whispered. 'I'm sorry for everything'

She nodded glumly, noting the remorse in his striking blue orbs.

'Are you back for good?'

'I think so. It was nice to spend some time with my dad but how could I bring up Isabel or the baby anywhere else?' She shrugged. 'Nate said you've been seeing some doctor?'

'Yeah. I- after you left I, I fell to pieces. I didn't want to loose you for good. Nathan eventually managed to convince me to go see someone. Did anyone tell you I've been suffering from PTSD?'

She nodded uneasily. 'How're you feeling?'

'Good, good actually. Some days are better than others. It helps believe it or not' He offered her a small smile. '-Talking to someone. It puts everything into perspective'

'That, that's good Luke' She mumbled. She couldn't understand why he'd quite happily talk to some stranger and not her but the main thing was he was getting help and accepting he had a problem.

'Yeah' He agreed, scratching an imaginary itch on his forehead. There was so much he wanted to say and yet he didn't know how to voice it.

'Why am I here Lucas?'

'I, well I wanted to see you'

She sat down on the bleachers, one hand protectively stroking her bump.

'I think about you everyday Peyton... you and Isabel and the baby' He hesitantly sat down beside her. 'Can I...Can I?' he gestured to her abdomen. She bit her lip, looking at him guardedly. 'Please' One look into his blue eyes and she relented, carefully lifting her fitted t-shirt to expose her small round belly. His callous hand hesitantly settled itself on her soft skin and she involuntarily shuddered, her gaze never leaving his face. 'It, did it just kick?' He met her eyes and smiled delightedly and she couldn't prevent her own lips twitching into a smile. She laced her fingers over his directing it a little lower and again he felt a sharp kick. 'Wow, just...wow' He dropped his head and left a chaste kiss on her creamy skin, making her insides flutter 'Haley said you didn't know if it was a boy or a girl?'

It took her several moments to find her voice 'N-no, I wanted it to be a surprise. Brooke's convinced it's another girl though' She rolled her eyes. Lucas chuckled, the brunette had been adamant that the young parents were expecting a boy the first time round, so much so that she had everyone convinced to the point where Peyton had decorated the nursery with a blue sailing boat theme. When Isabel entered the world it was more than a shock for the whole family.

'You know I think she might be right this time though'

'Maybe' She nodded softly, her mind drifting to wonder who the baby would take after, whether he or she would have her lips and Lucas' nose, what colour eyes and hair he or she would inherit.

'Peyton' His voice startled her. 'I want to come home' Her eyes narrowed considerably. 'I miss you, I miss us and I know you have every right to hate me but I don't want to loose you'

'Luke I-'

'I never meant to hurt you. You have to understand that I wasn't in a stable mindset. I still get the nightmares but, but they're less and less and the hallucinations have completely gone. I know I said and did a thousand of horrible things but promise things will change. I want to be there for you, for Izzy, for this child. Let me come home'

'Luke I-I don't know, I don't think it's such a good idea. I mean the doctors say I shouldn't put myself under any more stress'

'Just say you'll think about it' She licked her dry lips. 'Please'

'I feel sick'

'What?' Lucas frowned.

'I'm going to be sick' She got a few paces away from where they'd been sitting before she was sinking to her knees and throwing up. He lurched over to her, a hand holding her hair back and the other rubbing her back. Tears prickled at her eyes but she closed them tightly in an attempt to seal off the ducts. This is where he should have been for the last one hundred and eighty four days. By her side. She lent back against his chest and his fingers trailed over her clammy forehead, brushing her damp curls out of her eyes.

'You ok?'

She swallowed back the bile welling in the back of her throat 'I don't know why they call it freaking morning sickness, it's unrelenting' She breathed.

'You get this all the time?' He questioned, rubbing her arm.

'Some days it's not so bad' She forced a small weary smile, letting him help her to her feet and sit her back on the bleachers.

'Is, is that normal? You hardly had any sickness with Isabel and you're nearly seven months now right?' He recalled, his brow creased with concern.

'I guess I lucked out with her.' She took a deep breath, trying to calm her unsettled stomach. 'Apparantly some women are lucky enough just to have it for the first few weeks but I'm one of the few who appear to have it for the whole freaking nine months' She sighed.

Lucas' face twisted at the thought of her having gone through this without him. 'I'm sorry' He settled his hand on her knee.

'It's not your fault' She laughed a little. 'Just don't ever come near me with peanut butter, pickled onions, salmon or bananas or you'll have hell to pay' She warned.

'You love all that stuff'

'Yeah, well apparently this little one doesn't' Her hand drifted back over her belly. 'Just the smell of any of that stuff makes me gag'

He nodded, mentally repeating the list in his head so he wouldn't forget. His heart sunk a little, these were things he should already know. 'So can't you keep anything down at all?'

'Not a lot, but my doctor has me taking loads of vitamins and minerals and in the last month I gained more weight so as long as I can put on a little more everything should be fine'

He nodded helplessly, he wanted to hear everything was going perfect, that she'd never felt better not that this pregnancy had her feeling ill round the clock. 'How's, How's Isabel?'

'She's ok'

'How's she dealing with the prospect of becoming a big sister?'

Peyton stared at him and knew that he was truly interested in their daughter.

_'Mummy are we staying here forever?' Isabel whined, leaning against Peyton's knees._

_'Don't you like it here?'_

_'I do. I like seeing grandpa every morning and I like playing with Barney but I miss Aunt Brooke and Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan and Jamie and my other friends and, and Daddy' She listed._

_Peyton's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the last mention. 'We'll see them all soon' She mustered with a smile. 'This isn't forever baby'_

_'We are going back home?'_

_'Yes, I don't know when yet though.'_

_'When we do go home is Daddy going to live with us?' She asked quizzically, scrambling onto the sofa and onto Peyton's lap._

_'I'm not sure yet sweetie.' Isabel's small hands fiddled with the buttons on her mother's shirt, her eyes following her fingers. Peyton smiled and lent forward, pressing her forehead against the four year olds. As much as she felt isolated being in her Dad's house, she was enjoying the time with just Isabel. 'Izz?'_

_'Uhuh?' Blue eyes darted up to meet her gaze._

_'There's something I want to talk to you about' She stroked her daughter's round cheek. 'Isabel...' She hesitated, taking a deep breath. 'Mummy's going to have a baby' Peyton regarded her, noting the way her little button nose scrunched up and she squinted her eyes just like her father did when he was confused._

_'A baby?'_

_'Yes' Peyton's lips curled into a bright smile but was met with a frown._

_'Where am I going?' Her bottom lip quivered._

_'What?' Peyton's smile faltered._

_'I'll be a good girl, I don't wanna go' Her eyes widened and glazed over with tears._

_'Baby you're not going anywhere'_

_'You're n-not going to get rid of me?'_

_'Of course not.' She exclaimed. 'I love you so much, you're my little girl, you're stuck with me forever, forever Isabel. Why would you even think that?'_

_She shrugged with a loud sniffle 'The baby won't have my room?' She bought her hand up to her mouth, chewing on the sleeve of her top._

_'No sweetie' Peyton cooed. 'We'll have to turn the spare room into a nursery. You'll be able to help me look after the baby and when he or she's bigger you'll have someone to play with and look out for. Wouldn't you like to have a little brother or sister?'_

_'I-I guess' She snuggled closer, settling her head on Peyton's shoulder._

_'I love you sweetie, nothing is going to ever change that.' Peyton hugged her tight, hoping to put her obvious worries to rest. 'Ok?'_

_Isabel nodded against her and was silent for a long minute. 'Where do you get the baby?' She eventually lifted her head, looking straight into her mother's eyes._

_'Well' Peyton pushed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, contemplating how to make the four year old understand without divulging too much information for her innocent ears. 'The baby's here' She indicated, raising her shirt a little. Isabel looked from Peyton's face to her slightly protruding stomach repeatedly._

_'The baby's in your tummy?' She asked incredulously__. Peyton couldn't help but laugh at her look of disgust and horror._

_'Yeah sweetie' She breathed, rubbing Isabel's leg soothingly. 'You were in there once too'_

_'Was not, I wouldn't fit in there' She slid off Peyton's lap to sit beside her, giving her more room to bend over and get a closer inspection of the small bump that was still unnoticeable when covered._

_'Well no, you wouldn't now silly. You were a lot smaller then'_

_'There's a real baby in there?' Isabel whispered, going slightly cross eyed as she fixated on Peyton's belly button._

_'There's a real baby in there' Peyton confirmed, smiling. 'It's only really small at the moment though.' She demonstrated the probable size with her fingers._

_'That's diddy'_

_'Really diddy' Peyton laughed again as Isabel settled her chin on her stomach. 'The baby has to grow a lot more and then when it's big enough I have to go to the hospital'_

_'When?'_

_'I don't know exactly, it won't be for several months yet It will be in December, near Christmas time'_

_'When Father Christmas comes?' Her eyes lit up, her neck straining to the side as she looked up. _

_'I hope not' Peyton smiled, threading her fingers through Isabel's golden locks. _

_'But I love Father Christmas. He leaves me presents' She chirped, excitement evident in her voice. _

_'Alright kido, let's not start counting down the days to Christmas just yet, you've got a long time before Father Christmas pays you a visit'_

'I-I didn't know what to say to her' She swallowed.

'I'm sure you did great'

'She seemed upset at first; I think she thought I was going to get rid of her and replace her with a baby. But I think she understands now, I think she's happy. I think she's excited.' Peyton fiddled with her wedding ring apprehensively. 'At bedtime she likes to kiss the baby goodnight and sometimes when I'm sitting down she'll curl up on the sofa and lay her head on my stomach and just whisper endless stories.' Peyton looked up to find Lucas gazing at her intently, his eyes moistened with unshead tears. 'I just hope she doesn't feel neglected when the baby's actually born'

'It might take her a bit of getting use to' He said quietly, getting choked up as he listened to her describe special moments he should have been there for.

'She missed you'

'I highly doubt that' He scoffed.

'She did' Peyton said surely.

'How could she? I've not been a father to her since she was two years old'

'Luke-'

'She deserves better. You deserve better'

'Lucas' She shook her head. 'I- I love you and I don't want anyone else. I just, I need space. I-I can't forget things you said and did and I know it's not your fault but I'm pregnant and I just want to get through the next couple of months without any drama, so just, just give me some time ok?' She pushed herself off of the wooden bleacher. 'I should get back, I left Izzy with Brooke'

'Peyton' She turned. 'When, can I- can I maybe see Isabel soon?'

She opened and closed her mouth. 'Maybe later this week' She nodded. 'It's her birthday next Tuesday.' She reminded him 'You should be there'

He smiled, watching her walk back across the river court. 'Peyton' She glanced over her shoulder. 'I love you'


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**Hello guys!! I know it's been so long and I'm officially rubbish!! but I'm back. As a lot of you may know I've been away and had a great time and am now trying to adjust to being back home again! It's taken me a while to get back into this story because for one it's so angsty and it's been so long but I do plan to finish it. I'm not going to make you promises I can't keep because I know it's going to take me a while to get back in the swing of it but I'm trying and hopefully updates will become more regular soon! And a big thank you to all you faithful readers that have stuck with me for so long and all your lovely reviews!

* * *

'There we go missy' Brooke exhaled triumphantly, setting the last present down, a toothy grin on her face and eyes bubbling with excitement. She'd spent the last fifteen minutes unloading her car with gifts for the birthday girl. There were five in total, each distinguishable by their candy floss wrapping paper and huge cream bows. 'Well, what are you waiting for pretty girl?' The brunette urged impatiently.

Peyton watched on in amusement, a protective hand on her growing bump and one supporting her back.

'You spoil her too much B Davis'

'She's my little god daughter'

'She's going to be your little brat of a god daughter if you buy her this much stuff every birthday'

Brooke stuck her tongue out dismissively, returning to eagerly watch the five year old carefully peeling back the shiny paper at what Brooke considered far too slowly.

'God any slower and you'd be moving backwards' She whined, crouching down beside the smiling infant. 'Presents are for ripping open Izzy'

Isabel frowned as Brooke assisted in tearing open the gift. 'You ruined the pretty paper Aunt Brooooke'

'Yeah you've ruined the pretty paper Aunt Brooke' Peyton chimed.

The unsatisfied twenty six year old pouted, falling back onto the grass. 'Fine, fine, you do it. I'll just watch'

A further five painstaking minutes later, Isabel had finally unwrapped the first present to reveal a doll.

'See your Mumma's having a baby and I thought you could have your own too!'

Isabel smiled, protectively holding the doll in her arms.

'That's sweet Brooke' Peyton took her friends hand.

'Wait till you see the rest'

Peyton rolled her eyes as slowly, Isabel opened the remaining parcels and was surrounded by every accessory available for the doll with a handful of painfully hand stitched mini clothes included.

'Brooke these are so cute' Peyton held up a little all in one outfit.

'Don't worry I've already started on making this one a whole bunch of top of the range stuff' Brooke rested her palm on her best friend's baby bump.

'Brooke, you don't have to do that'

'Hey, I want to. In fact I'm thinking of doing a baby line'

'That would be amazing'

'Yeah it will be and this one can be the first to model them'

Peyton laughed, her gaze drifting back to her daughter. She smiled proudly at the caring manner in which Isabel was cradling her new doll and for the first time since she'd found out about the new arrival that would shortly be joining them, she was filled with excitement. Excitement at the prospect of having another baby to care for and more so, excitement for her daughter that would have a younger sibling to be with, something she'd never had.

A gentle breeze blew her hair and she tucked a curl behind her ear, tilting her head in the process. It was then that she noticed the figure standing in the gateway of the backyard, watching her intently.

His stare was intense. He was blatantly looking her up and down and she felt her cheeks redden. She smiled shyly and self-consciously, she didn't feel attractive, she'd not felt attractive for a long time but his longing gaze was enough to make her weak at the knees.

She rubbed her lips together and made her way over to him.

'You came'

'Is that alright? I thought you said-'

'I did say' She nodded. 'Of course it's alright Luke. I'm glad you're here' Her eyes averted to the package in his hand.

'It's for Isabel'

'She's over there'

'I know, I've been watching, she looks like she's enjoying herself'

'She is. She's having a wonderful time. She's so happy to be back. I told her you were coming and she keeps asking when you're going to get here' It was a bit of an exaggeration, she'd asked once but it was something.

Lucas smiled, he knew she was lying but he loved her for it.

They walked over to the blanket where the little girl was sprawled out, inspecting her many presents.

'Isabel look who's here to see you'

Isabel looked up at her visitor.

'Hi Izzy'

She bit her bottom lip and Lucas was immediately struck by how much she looked like Peyton. She was definitely a Sawyer girl, that was for sure.

'Hi Daddy'

He smiled. Daddy. He'd forgotten how wonderful that sounded.

'Happy Birthday sweetie'

She was just a little girl, five years old exactly, she couldn't possibly understand everything that had gone on in her life so far but when she looked at him and she smiled, it was a trusting beautiful smile. A knowing smile, she may have been little but even she could see the astounding change in her father. He was different and she liked this different.

'I've got you a present' He tapped her nose and she grinned, keenly accepting the neatly wrapped present.

'Thank you'

'You're welcome. Have you had a nice day so far?'

'Uhuh. Aunt Brooke got me lotsa cool stuff and I've got a birthday cake with a fairy princess on it' She explained, peeling back the paper carefully.

'Wow that does sound pretty cool'

'It's a book' She announced with an apprecitive smile, she was definitely her Daddy's daughter. 'I love books'

'Yeah? This is a special book'

She looked at him curiously.

'This book is all about you' He explained, opening the cover. 'See all these pictures, your clever Mum did all these'

'That's me' She pointed out observantly.

'That is you' He smiled.

'Thank you Daddy, I love it' She scrambled from the blanket and hugged him on her own accord and he hugged her back.

'I love you' He said the three little words that he'd not told her nearly enough in the past. He was going to change that, starting from now.

She smiled and nodded shyly and then Jamie came up behind her and shouted 'It' and she skipped off after him.

'That's such a lovely present Luke' Peyton had watched every last second and was in awe. This was the romantic man she'd loved and married. 'It must have taken you ages'

'It's nothing' He dismissed.

'It means everything' She corrected. 'Thank you for being here'

'I wouldn't be anywhere else' He said honestly and for the first time it really felt like he'd come home to her, that this was a new start, a new beginning for all three of them.

* * *

'Hey Brooke, erm, I've been sent for plates for the kids, any idea where they might be?' Lucas asked sheepishly upon entering the kitchen.

'What are you doing here?' She turned around to face him. She'd been watching him like a hawk since he'd arrived. She'd spent the last few days listening to Peyton drawl on and on about how different he was, about how she thought things were going to change. Brooke would even go as far to say that Peyton had been acting like a teenager with the constant reminders and reenactments of how he'd told her that he loved her and in any other circumstance she would have been laughing and smiling along with her friend but there was something stopping her.

'Peyton asked me' He answered.

'You have no right-'

'Brooke'

'No Lucas. I don't want to hear it'

'But-'

'No' She hastily wrapped another piece of Haley's famous chocolate cake in a unicorn napkin before shoving it into the princess themed party bag. She'd never thought it was possible to feel such disdain for a friend but right now she couldn't even look at him. 'You should leave'

'Isabel's my daughter- it's her birthday'

'And she's my god daughter and Peyton's my best friend and she's been through enough, she's pregnant the last thing she needs is you being here'

'I want to make it better'

'Then tell her, tell her before I do because I won't lie Lucas, I can't continue to keep this from her'

'I'm going to tell her I just, I need time'

'Time? So you can win her heart back and break it all over again'

'Christ Brooke please, just let me do this my way'

The fuming brunette spun around 'Why? You hurt her Lucas, I saw the bruises on her and you, you were the last person in the world I thought could ever hurt anyone, let alone Peyton Sawyer and I know you've been ill and I know, I know that I can't possibly ever begin to understand what you've been through but I will not lie to my best friend, I can't pretend that everything is fine because it's not'

'I know it's not fine but I want to make it up to her, I'm going to make-'

'Lucas you slept with someone else!' She exclaimed furiously.

The sound of glass smashing against the floor startled the arguing pair. Their heads jolted around and their eyes widened considerably at the innocent bystander.

Peyton blinked, her brow furrowed, her green eyes welling with tears. Her focus was on Lucas, just Lucas.

His heart palpitated in his chest. This was the exact scenario he'd so badly wanted to avoid.

The hurt, the disappointment and pure disdain that was engraved into her features was unbearable.

He'd done what he'd promised he'd never do, he'd let her down, he'd made an oath in church, he'd sworn to love her and be true to her. He'd broken that promise. He'd hurt her, he'd hurt her in so many ways and now he'd committed infidelity.

'Peyton' Her name escaped his lips in a sharp exhale.

'You, you' She closed her eyes and he could see the wall going up around her. 'You had sex with someone else?'

He swallowed. He didn't want to answer that question.

He battled with telling the truth or fabricating a brilliant lie that would make this all go away. But there was no point in lying. She already knew the truth.

'Yes'

Her face contorted and she grappled at the door frame.

Lucas strode forward. 'Peyton I was drunk, I didn't, I didn't mean to, It was once it didn't mean-'

'Stop'

He reached for her but she swatted his hands away.

'Don't you touch me. Don't you fucking dare' She gulped back the lump in her throat. 'Get out. I want you to leave. Get out'

'Pey-'

'Get out!' She screeched.

He stood there, frozen, his feet unwilling to do as she demanded. He couldn't leave because he was afraid that if he stepped out of this house he wouldn't be allowed back.

'Mummy?' Isabel's sweet little voice quivered. 'What's wrong?'

Peyton didn't respond. She didn't even hear. Her head was thumping and her world spinning. Everything she believed in, her faith in the man before her had all just been snatched from beneath her feet.

'Isabel' Lucas' hand touched her small shoulder and his heart ached. He'd not only wronged his wife but his daughter and unborn child too.

'Don't touch her' Peyton grabbed Isabel's wrist and pulled her back.

'Mummy!'

'Don't you ever touch her'

'Mummy!'

'Peyton please let me explai-'

'Lucas you should go' Brooke announced evenly, her hand on his arm. 'You need to go' She'd wanted her best friend to know, she'd needed Peyton to know but this most certainly was not how she'd wanted her to find out. She'd wanted her to be sitting down, she'd wanted it to be broken to her gently.

Lucas relented. He'd managed to ruin his daughter's birthday and perhaps any shot he had at winning his wife back.

'I'm sorry' He declared quietly. That one apology was filled with so much hope and sorrow. He let Brooke lead him out and when they reached the front door he could hear Peyton's strangled sob and could see the silhouette of Isabel wrapping her little arms around her mother.

'She's going to need time' Brooke said through pursed lips. 'I think it would be best if you didn't try and contact her for a while'

He nodded glumly. 'I never meant-'

'I know Luke, but what's done is done and you have to deal with the consequences' She glanced over her shoulder. 'She needs me'

He nodded again and Brooke closed the door and even though she'd been gone, that he'd been without her for so long, it felt like he'd never been so far away from his wife as it did then. Just thirty minutes ago he'd been happy, happier than he had in a long time and he'd been hopeful about their future together, but he'd lost her now and he wasn't sure he'd ever get her back.


End file.
